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4 Bumps

Daughter is bi sexual.... adult content

She has recently told me that she likes girl and has been "dateing" a girl for a few months now. They dont have sex or anything....but they have kissed. We discuss alot of things openly.. Well recently my daugher has also started texting a boy she goes to school with and the girl got really mad and starting fighting with my daughter. I dont know weather to tell my daughter to stop talking with the girl because obviously she is overreation on the situation bt I dont want mydaughter to feel like Im not letting her be herself.I dont mind that my daughter likes gir and boysl but I want her to keep an open mind to things and not by the controlled by the girl...What should I tell her!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on Jan. 4, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (13)
  • Well, this is a tough one really! Id tell her that the girl seems to be controlling and you dont want her to be with someone who is like that. That it isnt healthy? IDK lol I guess just be honest! If you and her have a open realtionship let her know how you feel exactly! good luck
    ErinML

    Answer by ErinML at 12:16 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • I think maybe just try not to over think it...respond the same way you would if it were two boys and tell her y u r concerned and u just luv her n want the best! BtW....good job momma love that you r so open minded!
    harris4

    Answer by harris4 at 12:16 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • sounds like u are a great supportive mom, huge applause for you!!!!! I would tell her exactly what you have just typed here, only with the appropriate prepositions of course. I am a bi mama, just so u know!
    truthteller0722

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 12:18 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • FIRST I want to applaud you for the way you're handling the whole idea of her sexuality!

    I would just let her know hey I want to share my opinion on them as people and not because of their gender and which gender I think you should be with. Let her know that you're okay with her sexuality, and ultimately you only care about what's best for her.

    I also think there's a time when you have to sit back and let your child learn from their relationships. Offer simple advice, like ways for them to think about a situation and let them choose how to handle the advice and views given. If you notice her get edgy about your advice back off a bit... so she's not closed down totally. Say I'm here when you're ready : )

    GOOD LUCK and again I admire your stance.
    Skepticchick

    Answer by Skepticchick at 12:23 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • As someone who has mostly dated the worst people possible for me (until I was in college) I would recommend speaking your mind then DROP IT! Say, "I don't like that she is fighting with you over this, she seems controlling to me." then just stop there. If you keep pushing it, your daughter will likely stop being so open with you.. My mom tried to be the advice giver to the point where I felt like she was controlling my every move, even though in her mind she though she was doing the right thing. Unfortunately, at some point, you need to let your little girl go and let her sink or swim (unless you think something is life threatening) You have taught her the best you can (and can continue to do so if/when she is receptive to it) The reason I'm giving this advice is because being a teenager is very vivid in my memory still. I had a terrible time of it and still remember the way my mind worked. Teenagers aren't children anymore ye
    alinker

    Answer by alinker at 12:24 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • yet they aren't adults either. Good luck. I can only imagine how hard it is to be a mom of a teenager (I have my work cut out for me if my boys are anything like I was!)
    alinker

    Answer by alinker at 12:25 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • Well I don't think our kids really want our opinion on their relationships but of course being concerned you are going to state them..... If she doubts your motives or you think she will let her know that it has nothing to do with it being a boy or a girl you just want her treated well and you would feel the same way reg.ardless of the sex of the partner
    Charis76

    Answer by Charis76 at 12:25 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • IDK if that girl your daughter is dating is already showing to be possessive and if it isn't real serious (?) yet, that could be a warning sign. But I would just tell her to proceed with caution, and if that girl does something else like that, it would be advisable to cut her losses, and get out.
    Michigan-Mom74

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 12:25 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • well. if that girl continues on fighting with her and if you do live in a state where gay/lesbian marriage is legal, you could sue for sexual harassment. If she does get violent and forces your daughter to date her in a way, your could sue for physical harassment and psychological damage. After that, just tell your daughter that she wont be bothered by that girl anymore.
    lawyers_and_co

    Answer by lawyers_and_co at 12:29 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • I don't think her being bisexual has much to do with it. If she was straight, it would be 2 boys fighting over her, same thing basically. She needs to choose one or the other for now, same as she'd have to pick between boys, or a boy is supposed to pick between girls. If she wants to date the boy, she needs to break up with the girl. If she wants to be with the girl, she needs to stop leading the boy on.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

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