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MY 15 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER HAS BEEN ACTING OUT!!

I am a mom of four. This is way out of chaiter for her she has been back talking teachers, sneaking to parties, been rude and disrespectful. she has always been easy going, so sweet. Now I am her enemy and in her eyes I am mean and she hates me. I know this is normal since my 18 year old daughter did go through this too, but she was always a terror. It just saddnes me that my once sweet daughter has become a B**** I know it will get better, I just do not want to go through this again!!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:02 PM on Nov. 11, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • GET STRICT ON HER IMMEDIATELY.
    SADLY YOU BEING AN ENEMY IN HER EYES IS COMMON, ITS A PHASE THAT WILL PASS.
    YOU NEED TO LET HER KNOW YOU WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS. EMBARASS HER IF YOU NEED TO. I WOULD HAVE NOT MESSED UP IN SCHOOL IF MY MOM WOULD HAVE SAT NEXT TO ME ALL DAY DURING CLASS. STUDENTS IN MY CLASS HAD THEIR PARENTS DO IT, AND THE GOT THEIR ACT TOGETHER.
    SHE NEEDS TO KNOW HER ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES. AND YOU WILL NOT BE A PUSH OVER, AND SHE CANNOT OUT SMART YOU.
    DONT BE AFRAID TO BE THE BAD GUY, ESPECIALLY SINCE SHE ALREADY THINKS YOU ARE.

    PUNISH HER ACTIONS AND REWARD HER GOOD ACTIONS.
    IF SHE SNEEKS OUT, GROUND HER FOR A MONTH NOT A WEEK.
    MAKE THE PUNISHMENTS BAD TO WHERE SHE WILL NOT SHRUG IT OFF.

    sassy_brizzy

    Answer by sassy_brizzy at 1:38 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • TAKE AWAY HER CELL PHONE, IT IS THE ULTIMATE SMACK IN THE FACE FOR A YOUNG GIRL.
    PICK HER UP FROM SCHOOL IF YOU CAN, SHE MAY TRY 2 SNEEK AWAY SO HAVE HER TEACHER HOLD HER IN CLASS UNTIL YOU PERSONALLY PICK HER UP. COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR DAUGHTERS FRIENDS PARENTS ALL THE TIME. MAKE IT KNOWN THAT SHE IS GROUNDED AND IS NOT TO BE AT HER FRIENDS HOUSE OR OUT WITH THEM. WHEN I WAS PULLING THINGS IF MY FRIENDS PARENTS HAD KNOWN MY CURFEW WAS 11 WHEN THEIRS WAS 2AM, I WOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH ANYTHING WE DID.
    SHE NEEDS TO FIND A BALANCE BETWEEN GROWIN UP AND BEING WILD.
    IM SORRY YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THIS, I FEEL HORRIBLE FOR WHAT I PUT MY MOM THROUGH.
    AFTER A FEW ROUGH YEARS OF ME NOT RESPECTING OR APPRECIATING HER, I LEARNED MY LESSON. AND THANK GOD I FEARED HER, WITHOUT RESPECT THE ONLY THING THAT CAN CONTROL A TEEN IS FEAR.
    BEING GROUNDED AND AVOID IT.
    GOOD LUCK!!!
    sassy_brizzy

    Answer by sassy_brizzy at 1:43 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • Oh please don't tell me this, my 18 ds has been a huge stress, my 13 ds is so sweet and easy going..... I pray it doesn't happen to him, I can't do it again. Is your 18 dd better now?
    njt320

    Answer by njt320 at 6:01 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • sassy_brizzy has the solution if you want her to hate you more (no disrespect intended whatsoever, just my opinion), i dont have experience with teenage girls, except i am one, i would say she doesnt respect herself and shes hanging out with the wrong crowd.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:34 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • depending on how smart she is she might just be trying to experience things before growing up, I did everything I could to squeeze everything in, by the time you are 18 and getting pushed out of the house you want to know what your getting in to, sit her down and dont treat her as a child, just ask if shes trying life out, it may not be her way of disrespect, it may be her way of trying out the world i tryed it and found for my self what worked and what didnt. i tried to be smart about it, thankfully my mother understood enough to let me try new things, trial and error before it became a real crime. Im happily married with a baby on the way and have a beautiful step daughter and im 19 if i hadnt tried out life id be scared shitless some where wishing I knew how to be a grown up. i dont know if this will help her or you but realise her time for this is now not when shes 23 and trying to hold down a job and keep an apt.
    leapyear

    Answer by leapyear at 2:01 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Uh, I agree with sassy_breezy...people are to easy on teens. YOU CAN'T ALWAYS BE THERE FRIENDS ESPECIALY WHEN THEY ACT UP!!
    YanniSmoMMy

    Answer by YanniSmoMMy at 3:35 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I also agree with some of sassy's solutions. If she intends to act out, then she gets no priviledges at all. No cell phone, no computer, no friends, no parties. Put a lock on the door, or alarm. I mean she can't sneak out if you are monitoring all that. I would put a halt to her little life and then take everything she valued. This is not about her hating you. This is about her needing boundaries that you are not providing. She will hate you and its okay. She will eventually see one day that you did it because you love her. Youre trying to protect her and so many parents choose for their kids to like them more than protect them. In the end, then end up resenting them for NOT cracking down. I would listen to the advice of these seasoned mothers over a teenager anyday. These moms know their stuff. I have teenager too so I am only midly experienced with the attitude.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:44 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I respect some of the other answers, but I am going to reiterate what I just said....because the point to KEEP her from being 19 with a baby or 23 and trying to hold down an appt because shes got kids. The point is to help her be successful and like the anon teen said...to respect herself. She does need to respect herself so that she can be an asset to society. Let her know that you want her to go to college and be whatever she wants to be and she could mess that up by doing such risky things. Doesnt anyone ever watch Dr Phil?....LOL.....Hes the King of common sense and he would tell you to give her life a quick overhaul that included anything she loved. Be the parent and not the friend.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:49 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • do whatever is best for you and her, because you are the mom so don't feel to sad and mean about it.
    __baovang

    Answer by __baovang at 2:15 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • Hang on I wasnt trying to sound like the shitty kid that didnt get enough spankings, I'm only saying in her mind you let her sister do what ever she wanted, now its her turn - yeah you shouldnt be her friend but note that alot of adults who say all this about teaching her mannors and making her respect you, they dont give two wits about their own parents- and for the mom who thinks im just a teen with kids, I graduated at 15 I headed in the right direction but it wasnt for me, I found my path just like you found yours
    leapyear

    Answer by leapyear at 3:44 PM on Nov. 14, 2008