Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

MY BOYFRIEND/DD'S FATHER IS SO HARD ON OUR 3 YR OLD, ANYONE ELSE HAVE THIS PROBLEM?! VENT/LONG!

OKAY, SO IM 19 & MY BF/DD'S FATHER IS SO HARD ON OUR 3 YR OLD & WORST IS HE SEE'S NO FAULT IN IT, HE'S THE TYPE THATS LIKE "YOU DO WHAT I SAY B/C IM DAD THATS IT!" HE FEELS LIKE SHE SHOULD KNOW WHAT COMMON SENCE IS (COME ON SHE'S 3!) & HE JUST DOESNT REALLY LIKE TO HAVE ANY ONE ON ONE TIME OR REALLY TAKES THE TIME OUT TO REALLY TALK, PLAY & INTERACCT WITH HER & BECAUSE HE'S SO HARD ON HER, IN TURN ITS HARD ON ME, B/C WHEN HE'S NOT HOME OR AT WRK SHE PUSHES & PUSHES TO SEE WHAT SHE CAN GET AWAY WITH ( I KNOW TYPICAL 3 YR OLD) BUT I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO BE THE FUN ONE WHO PLAYS GAMES & DOES ACTIVITIES LIKE HELPING COOK OR CLEAN THE HOUSE ( SHE LOVES THAT STUFF SHE'S A REGULAR SUSIE HOMEMAKER! LOL) OR JUST BE A KID & BE MESSY & ALL THAT GOOD STUFF, DONT GET ME WRONG I DO DICIPLINE BUT I DONT LIKE TO B/C I KNW MEAN OL DAD WILL DO ENOUGH OF THAT WHEN HE GETS HOME & IF I TRY TO TLK TO HIM ABOUT HE GETS MAD & SHRUGGS IT OFF, I MEAN HE'S NOT THE GRINCH LOL HE DOES SPEND TIME & STUFF WITH HER BUT I FEELS LIKE ITS JUST THE BARE MINIMUM LIKE HE WANTS TO RUSH THRU IT LIKE QUICK BATHTIME, QUICK BOOK AT NIGHT. I JUST WISH HE WOULD TAKE HER ON WALKS, GO TO THE MOVIES, TAKE HER TO THE PARK. STUFF THAT THEY CAN DO TOGETHER THAT DOESNT ALWAYS REQUIRE ME B/C IF IT DOES SHE WILL ONLY WANT ME & I FEEL LIKE IF THEY BOND IT WILL BE GREAT FOR BOTH, SHE WILL HAVE THAT DADDY-DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP BOND EVERY MOTHER WANTS FOR THEIR DAUGHTERS & HE WILL BETTER UNDERSTAND HER, SHE'S SO SMART & WITTY & FUNNY & I FEEL LIKE IF THEY HAD TIME ALONE & BONDED HE WOULD SEE THAT, THE PROBLEM IS GETTING HIM TO WANT TO DO THAT, HE FEELS HE DOES ENOUGH WITH THE QUICK BATHS & QUICK BOOKS AT NIGHT ( HE DOES MORE BUT ITS ALWAYS LIKE QUICK QUICK QUICK HURRY UP SO I CAN MOVE ON TO SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT TYPE THING) I JUST FEEL SO BAD FOR ZOEY I WANT SO BADLY FOR HER TO BE HAPPY & TO HAVE THAT BOND WITH HER DAD!

SORRY SO LONG!

ANY ADVICE? ANYONE HAVE THIS PROBLEM?
FEEL FREE TO PM

Answer Question
 
ZoeyMariah.

Asked by ZoeyMariah. at 2:58 AM on Jan. 4, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 13 (1,004 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • your lucky if he does a quick bath and a quick book, i have been married for four years now and my husband has only taken the duties on for one week when my little sister died and then i was back to work. it is what is, some guys are more hands on and some just are not good at it, they show their love in other ways though so keep your eyes open for that, I am learning just now how to do that and I am 30, think and look for the things he does and doesnt do, maybe that is the way he bonds right now, some men are intimidated by kids ya know even if they are theirs, its just the way some men are, but on the brighter side the older the kids get the less intimidated they become. So hang in there and look for the other ways he shines through, maybe he is just being defensive and doesnt really think he does enough maybe he is just scared to really jump in and mess things up or not know what to do, as you are with your baby all day, GL
    emleejanedom

    Answer by emleejanedom at 4:31 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • What about a Daddy Daughter date once a week or once a month where he takes her someplace special and they do something fun? Is that something he would consider? This is his child and she will grow up quickly, remind him to savor these times now when he is her hero and to try and live up to that admiration she has for him. As for the discipline, sometimes people generally don't know what kids are capable of at what ages. You can't expect a 3 year old to have common sense, it just isn't how their little brains work yet. Maybe grab a few books from the library about children her age to try and give him ideas of what reasonable expectations and punishments are. It helps to have a discipline plan you work out together, so both parents are using the same techniques and consequences, and there are set rules for her to understand. I wish I had more to add but I hope you find some good solutions.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 12:24 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • Why did you choose to have a child with someone who has such drastically different views on parenting?
    Please find a couples or family counselor!!!
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 12:07 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN