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Why does it matter to anyone else that I am paranoid?

I am a paranoid person. I always take preventative measures to ensure nothing can happen to harm my children or myself if possible so as to protect everyone. I am SUPER PARANOID.

Explanation: 1) I hate cooking meats because I am afraid of under cooking them and causing my children to be harmed by under cooked foods.
2) I use my parking break no matter WHERE I park so as to always remember to use it so I can hopefully prevent the van from ever rolling and hitting my children.
3) When the children get sick I watch them CLOSELY to ensure they do not need to go to the doctor or hospital.... yet I typically take them anyhow 99% of the time.
4) Rashes freak me out.
5) Fevers freak me out.
6) Blood scares the hell out of me when it is exiting my childrens body.
7) I make sure they eat healthy to keep them from becoming unhealthy.
8) I keep them active to keep them healthy.
9) I'm afraid I will come down with cancer or another life threatening condition which will kill me and leave my children defenseless and without me.
10) I am 25 and already want a will and testament and to set my burial/cremation wishes into stone and have them paid for so that burden is not left to my children.
**There is more, but I don't have time to sit here all day.**

I shake 90% of the time from stress. I bite my nails. I don't sleep well. I have anxiety and depression. My chest hurts at times. I have panick attacks if things don't go accordningly and start to get haywire. I am stressed from my own paranoia but honestly don't care to change it because I know my children are safer due to it.

It all started when my oldest almost died when she was only one month and five days old and the hospital has NO explanation for why. (Well, I had anxiety and depression long before that but that one incident set the tone for my parenting.)

My children DO NOT see this side of me. It is part of my nature. I am not a helicopter parent and do allow them to live and be children.... but I am always watching to ensure nothing too dangerous ensues and that I do not need to step in and stop something dangerous from occurring.

So... if the children do not see my paranoia, and it is protecting them, I know I will never change because I see it as precautionary measures for the safety and life of my children..... WHY should ANYONE else care and harrass me for the things I do?

My SO makes comments about my paranoia and when I made a comment about something to a co-worker about how I would handle a situation she told me I can't live my life this way. Why is it anyone else's business but my own?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on Jan. 4, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I think the shaking part stands out most to me everything else i think half of us do because those are our babies but i would suggest counseling to get over some fears your young and have healthy kids and are worrying your self too much be happy and be glade your alive right now get insurance and work your way to pay your burial off and dont stress the little things there far too small to make big :)
    premiemom18

    Answer by premiemom18 at 3:18 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • It's not necessarily anyone else's business, but it is obviously affecting your health which IS your SO's business. Regardless of whether you believe your children are affected by your paranoia, they are. You really need to get some help - it's normal to be protective because of your history, but it sounds like you've exceeded the parameters of "normal." Get some help, stress can kill you.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 10:11 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • Prob because they care about you and want you to be happy and relax abit instead of worrying your life away. Im this way to an extent and its really sucks! lol
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 10:10 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • It's one thing to worry, and to eat healthy and whatnot...it's another thing when the worrying becomes unhealthy.
    You say you worry about getting cancer and not being around for your kids -but what if the stress this is causing you kills you?

    You can't live in fear of everything, and though you say your kids don't see this- I'm betting they notice more than you think- especially as they get older.

    I think we all want to have a safe healthy life, but seriously when that interferes with living or causes stress then that's a problem

    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:31 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • Because that degree of paranoia is not normal. And you may think your children don't see that side of you, but children see things we don't think they do, they know more than we ever give them credit for.

    Get some help honey. The fear levels you are living with are not good for you or your family.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 11:38 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • You need to tell this to a doctor immediately. You are sick and need help now. I never understood why people live like this. Just relax. Sorrow looks back. Worry looks around. Faith looks up!
    mandielynn23

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 10:12 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • "Prob because they care about you and want you to be happy and relax abit instead of worrying your life away."

    I totally agree with that. I mean, I have paranoid moments, too. My biggest fear is my sons getting run over, because when I was a kid, I learned what death was when my 18 month old cousin was run over by a school bus.

    I try to keep in mind that the more I'm paranoid, the less time I'm enjoying being their mother. What if something were to happen to them? Would I want to look back and think of how I spent my time with them being busy worrying over all of the little things? No. With the extent of your paranoia and worries, I wager seeking professional help wouldn't hurt.

    SpaceToast

    Answer by SpaceToast at 10:21 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • Prob because they care about you and want you to be happy and relax abit instead of worrying your life away.

    ^^This
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 1:29 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • You need some serious help here. If you honestly think your children don't sense your anxiety, you are only fooling yourself. Your children do sense it and are probably already picking up your paranoid tendencies. Think of the way you feel, do you want your children to feel this way? You have to get your anxiety levels into a normal range or you will raise nervous, timid children unable to cope with life.
    hootie826

    Answer by hootie826 at 1:54 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • As far as co-workers, casual acquaintances, maybe they wouldn't make comments you don't like if you didn't bring up things about your paranoia. You are different from the average person, you know that. The less you talk about it to others, the easier it will be for your children. And you are wrong to think that it doesn't affect your children. It affects them and everyone else in your life. You are not really seeing this clearly because of your paranoia. It is affecting your health. You think your SO and other family are making comments to harass you. If you are truly as concerned about your children as you say, prove it by seeing a professional. Do this for the sake of your children.
    SweetLuci

    Answer by SweetLuci at 10:18 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

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