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i need help moms. how do cope with , that your only child might have learning disabilities or autism?

im a young mom (21), my son is 2, he is going to babynet in 2 weeks, im trying to figure how to handle this with out breaking down. i know its not the end of the world but i just need advice. please help

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hallte

Asked by hallte at 10:17 AM on Jan. 4, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Just be strong. You have to be the best advocate you can for your child. Find out all the programs you can for him, and get him all the help you can.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 10:21 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • My oldest DD is 4 and she has low muscle tone and developmental delays. She talked late, walked late and learns slower than children her own age. She is in headstart right now and while the other kids in her class are writing their name, she is still just learning how to recite her alphebet. The only advice i can give you is stary strong and just remember he is still your son and always will be. Whatever the outcome he is alwasy going to be that sweet little boy you love and you have to stay strong for him. Good Luck.
    L0vingMy3Girls

    Answer by L0vingMy3Girls at 10:22 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • whatever it is it'll be okay.
    Camilletnt

    Answer by Camilletnt at 10:25 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • I have a son with high functioning Autism. It is not the end of the world and things do get much better. My son is 17 now and unless I were to tell you or you saw his file you might not know theres anything the matter with him. He had to go through behavior therapy and we had many rough patches, break downs, and what not. Now though, he is like any other teenager out there (with all the good, bad and ugly teens bring lol). I was only 21 when I had him, and he is 1 of 5.
    My best advice is to pick up some books on whatever he is diagnosed with. Try not to treat him any differently. They dont like being seen or treated differently. Dont allow him to use any disability as a crutch, and dont use it yourself either. Find a support group for other moms going through the same things. Go to therapy and learn coping skills and skills to help him.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:32 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • Take it day by day if you need to. Tackle the small pieces on some days. And when things are going really well, get to the larger ones.

    Also try to remember that some of the best and brightest have learning difficulties or some other delay that you just don't think about with super bright people. My oldest is highly gifted, bordering on genius. He was speech delayed and is borderline aspergers. It is just part of what makes him who he is. The same goes for my youngest child who has epilepsy. Some days you just freak out and bang your head in frustration and then you pick yourself up, do research and be the best advocate you can be for your child.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 10:33 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • My dd has high functioning aspergers. I knew around 18 months old something was different...by 2.5 I was a mess of emotions and ups and downs and trying to explain all her behaviors away on something else.

    One day in her WONDERFUL Dr's office I broke down.....I was crying telling the Dr why her, why me??? Then the Dr stopped me and said "I am gonna tell you something I dont tell a lot of people..." "I think that I myself have aspergers"

    I was shocked???? WHAT???? She then went on to explain that she felt the reason why med school came so easy was b/c of her amazing ability to memorize tons of info very quickly.......WHAT????? My Maddie Kate can memorize all day long, and amaze you.....MAYBE SHE COULD BE A DR ONE DAY???????

    This changed my whole way of thinking about her issue.....I looked at it as less of a disability and more of a gift wrapped in unusual packaging....:)

    Cont...
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 10:45 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • This disorder can slow some things down, take some things away,....but it also can give amazing things in return......

    He is so young....you may not see his strengths yet...but they are in there....somewhere.....covered up with his unusual packaging:)

    Be on the look out for them....and dont doubt his abilities and what he may be in the future.

    I still have my down days....I think I may always....but these days I have more up days than down :)
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 10:47 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • My 3 year old has autism. It's tough. Just remember that he's the same little boy you've always had and loved no matter what the outcome is. I'm here if you ever want to talk.
    Krystal.Ingalls

    Answer by Krystal.Ingalls at 10:49 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • thank you for all your help i will keep reading them , i have researched this .... thank yall again for your advice
    hallte

    Comment by hallte (original poster) at 10:55 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • My oldest has Autism, and my other 2 did have developmental delays. One thing I have learned is to take each day as it comes, and to learn to be flexible and adjust. Remember the diagnosis does not change your child, he/she is still the same person they were before. Different is not a bad thing, it just means they have their own way of thinking or doing things and you may have to make some changes and adjust to their 'quirks'.
    When you get a diagnosis read up on what your child has, get informed-- that way you can figure out what is going on, and how to help him/her. Also look for support groups - either in your city, or here on CM. Don't be afraid to ask questions. For your child - once you have a diagnosis check and see if there are any programs or places that can help your child. Early intervention can help. If you need someone to talk to feel free to message me.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 11:03 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

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