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6 Bumps

Is your husband impossible?

My husband is mad at me all the time. He is unhappy with his work, the town we live in, and me. He's been dragging me down all the time lately. I try to give him what he needs- sex, then he's upset the house isn't clean. I clean the house, then he's upset about something else. I would just for one day like him to just be happy with one thing I do, or be able to talk to him without him being offensive/deffensive. Is this a phase.

 
sunshine58103

Asked by sunshine58103 at 11:27 AM on Jan. 4, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,585 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • First of all try to understand that he probably isn't mad at you, work, and the town you live in. It really sounds like he is upset with himself and does not know how to analyze his feelings. He needs to sit down and evaluate his self before he comes down on you about trivial things such as the cleanliness of your home. His happiness does not revolve around your house, town, or his job. He is the only one who can correct his feelings. That being said, the same goes for you. It is difficult being in a relationship with someone so negative while trying to remain positive. Check yourself as well and do not let him bring you down. Good luck Sunshine... That is what my hubby calls me:)

    jen2774161

    Answer by jen2774161 at 11:35 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • My hubby is a wonderful man with a lot of quirks!!!!!but I love him and that means all of him. Your man needs to chill out and enjoy life more.....
    older

    Answer by older at 11:29 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • He's unhappy with himself and is blaming everything and everyone instead of owning his feelings. I'd tell him if he's so damned unhappy then do what he has to do to fix it and stop bitching.
    AlliPerry

    Answer by AlliPerry at 11:34 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • My husband was like this and sometimes still is. I've often told him that he doesn't know how to be happy. What really helped for us was a doctor's visit. My husband was depressed (and still gets that way sometimes). According to the psychologist our doctor refered us to (basically for the medication, so if your husband freaks out over the word therapy, it was just one visit for us.) Men show depression as aggression and not being sad like women do. So now he takes medication that treats both his depression and anxiety and I can definitely tell when he's not been taking it. There is also a really good book I read called "When trying to change him is hurting you." It might help too.
    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 11:38 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • Nope... I got lucky when i found my Dh he is really easy going and a happy guy! Sorry that you are going through this
    rebeccadac

    Answer by rebeccadac at 11:30 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • my husband says i complain all the time. i said the other day that is was freezing outside and he told me to stop bitching. sometimes i just dont understand.
    JOR_HAIL

    Answer by JOR_HAIL at 11:31 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • Well, he becomes impossible when we fight - he's so stubborn but otherwise, he is more of a worrier than unhappy
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:33 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • Your husband needs to relax maybe you to need to have a long talk maybe something is bothering him....?Ask him....I have a hubby who is almost always positive and I love that he will boost me up when Im sad and I do the same for him but if your hubby is grumpy all the time thats not good...Talk to him
    Truelove77

    Answer by Truelove77 at 11:35 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • He may be depressed, and he's unhappy, you're getting the brunt of it. Talk to him frankly, ask him to get some help if he needs it, and you'll be there to help him too. Good luck.
    amybaby_19

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 11:35 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • I feel like I am going through this same thing! If you want to message me to vent or whatever, I will listen! I may not have a whole lot of advice, but at least I can relate to what you are going through! We are starting to get through it, and I'll admit, our biggest issue has been with communication. Sometimes men don't realize they are acting a certain way. I don't know what line of work your husband is in, but mine is a tool and dye maker... he works in a machine shop. They make parts for lots of military vehicles, and other high priority stuff so he has a very high stress job. He doesn't even realize that he brings his day at work home to us, and ends up dragging us all down. I was bottling all those feelings up for a long time, and venting to the wrong people about it, and it got me in trouble because he had no idea that I felt that way. My best advice would be to talk to him about it, in a non threatening way. Good luck
    Momma24Cuties

    Answer by Momma24Cuties at 11:39 AM on Jan. 4, 2011

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