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Five year old boys and whining?

I honestly thought we had passed right through this stage. The threes were terrible with my son. On the day his fourth birthday he said "Mommy, four year olds don't whine so I'm not going to whine anymore"... and he didn't, for about six months. He was the best little boy I could have asked for. Gradually it started again. First it would be when one of his sisters was being mean to him. We (my husband and I) would sit him down, and explain to him that using our words to communicate worked much better than whining... in 4 yr old terms. That seemed to help a little. But, in the last month or so (he turned 5 in November), it has gotten bad again. He whines when he does not get toys/candy at the grocery store, when we don't let him stay up to finish watching a show when it's bedtime, if he doesn't like what we are having for dinner... etc. Our efforts to talk to him haven't resulted in anything. We've tried taking things away from him, ignoring him, making him go up and sit on his bed until he is done with his tantrum. Nothing seems to be helping. I don't know what else to do... please help!!

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Asked by Momma24Cuties at 2:44 PM on Jan. 4, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 7 (164 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • I tell my DD, "I can't understand you when you whine, so I can't help you until you speak in your normal voice." This usually works for her. If he's whining about not getting his way, I would suggest giving him choices. Not the kind of choices where he gets his way, but the kind where he feels a bit more empowered.  Like, "You cannot finish watching your show.  You can continue to whine and go straight to bed, or you can calm down and pick out a bedtime story.  Make a decision".   When my DD tantrums, I tell her, "I understand that you're upset, but you need to go cry in your room."  Of course she doesn't go, so I giveher a choice, "You can walk like a big girl, or I can carry you there".  I usually have to carry her and put her back in a couple of times but consistency is key and don't give up even though its exhausting.  GL!  Hope you find what works for you.


    Answer by kenzie07 at 3:17 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • I think removing him from the scene is the best approach, i.e. sending him upstairs until he can calmly have a whine free discussion with you. Just stick to your guns! It will get better as long as it turns out to be unproductive for him, but it takes time. Consistency is the key, and being sure not to reward that behavior even accidentally!

    Answer by spottedpony at 12:56 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I just ask if he can hear that squeaking noise over and over again, he finally got it and whenever I ask that question the whining stops.

    Answer by choco_mom at 3:52 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

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