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i have 2 beautiful girls 17 and 12 they want me to date but have problems with some of the guys my ex pshed me on the ground when i broke up with him he did not take it well at all im scared and font know what to do but my kids are there and they try to make me feel better what do you think i should do?

i dont understand also why my youngest 12 cant keep her room clean can you help me figure something out

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Asked by veronica95 at 2:05 PM on Nov. 11, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (4)
  • I think your girls need you to be there for THEM. Building an intimate relationship with a man takes an ENORMOUS amount of focus and time. Getting into college or started on a job after high school is confusing and your older daughter needs your undivided attention to guide her through the daily decisions for immediate problems or long-term plans. This time of their lives was the MOST intense and busy for me with all three of our kids. And your younger daughter is facing Jr. High. She needs your protection from bullies and from doing badly in her schoolwork. She needs you to be just casually around for talks about the day, questions about life, your interest in her thoughts. They both do. Their closeness to you is more rewarding than some guy.

    Answer by waldorfmom at 2:20 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • I agree with Waldorfmom. Go out with girlfriends if you need a break but really keep your focus where it belongs.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:12 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • I think dating isn't out of the question. You just have to find an adult way of doing it. Your kids shouldn't necessary be involved with your dating life. The two need to be seperate. I don't know how to handle that. Maybe a lunch date or have the older one babysit and you go out to dinner?
    As for a 12 year old keeping their room clean? Ha! Find me a 12 year old who keeps their room clean and it will be a dysfunctional parent probably doing the cleaning them selves. lol.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 9:19 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • First of all, start dating different type guys. It sounds like you don't think enough of yourself to realize you deserve to have someone in your life who will treat you right. You can be discreet about it by telling your kids you are going out with friends and then meet the guy somewhere. There are ways.

    Second, don't date guys in front of your kids. This can affect them in a negative way.(speaking from experience in both areas). They are worrying about you instead of you worrying about them. Don't bring a guy home until you know it will be a good and lasting relationship for you and he would be a good influence on your kids.

    Answer by Goodthings at 10:52 PM on Nov. 17, 2008

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