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Why do you think that families are so violent?

There is so much child abuse: emotional, verbal, physical and sexual and done by family members to theor own kids?

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35yoamom

Asked by 35yoamom at 5:14 PM on Jan. 4, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 20 (10,016 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • It's a cycle. The parents were usually raised that way, so they don't know anything else... And lets face it, it's hard to break the cycle!
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 5:16 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • No one wants to break the cycle & say anything never been in this situation personally but seen lots of friends who have gone through this & i have to say i wouldnt wish this on anyone i just pray that one day they will be able to stand up for themselves and break the cycle
    Marie_07

    Answer by Marie_07 at 5:20 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • I was beaten and I never treated my kids that way what happened to me made not a perfect parent but a parent who was able to learn and be better at it. It took work but it stopped with us counseling and hard work.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:27 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • There is a lot of dysfunction out there, on both ends on the spectrum. On one hand, there are violent and overly aggressive households, and on the other, there are households who are too distant . . .with little or no quality time between parents and kids. Both can lead to attachment disorders, which, in turn, cause the child to insecurely attach to a potential mate or future children. Sad cycle. The best thing that can be done to prevent is parenting education and support.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 5:29 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • I think stress is a big factor...alongside the cycle. When all you learn as a child is solving issues with violence it is hard to react in another manner. Even with education and different values. I know this firsthand. I resolved never to even spank my children, but on many occasions when I was very stressed the thought has crossed my mind. Luckily, I have had restraint enough just to walk away (and cry) but I have the insight as to why it happens. Not saying that it is EVER right to strike a child out of anger, but I do understand it on some level.

    Disclaimer: I am not condoning spanking in a reasonable manner when it is used for punishment. It is just not for me.
    bugfin

    Answer by bugfin at 5:39 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • It's a learned thing. If their families were abusive then the cycle is more likely to continue. I've also heard when the economy is down, like it is now, it causes parents to stress, over money and jobs. They have less patience with their families and sometimes abuse occurs.
    myree85

    Answer by myree85 at 6:00 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • maybe there is just more evidence and people revealing what used to be secret decades ago.It is due to poverty, lack of education, drugs and alcohol , mental illness and a family history of abuse.
    kerp1960

    Answer by kerp1960 at 6:11 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • It is a cycle that keeps repeating itself.
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 9:07 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • I don't know, but I think there are lots of societal factors at play in addition to what the others have commented. In society, we have a lot of denials of feelings, a lot of f'd up ideas, a lot of pressure on appearances (ie so don't seek help), and too little support which causes further family stress and dysfunction (rates are really bad in the US as opposed to countries which have longer maternity leave and paternity leave, healthcare, better public schools, better job benefits, etc).
    Bellarose0212

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 10:02 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • i dont think there is more of it - actually i think it has decreased - what has changed is the level of exposure - csb and cps investigate and take children daily... back in the 50's you could easily beat your children and be seen as a reasonable parent.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 10:06 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

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