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4 Bumps

Must stay single till kids are 18?!

My mother is upset with me for being in a relationship. I've gone on plenty of dates the 3 years I've been divorced and single and am now in a serious relationship with someone who: is faithful, wants a family, sustains employment, loves my kids, adores me. My mom thinks that even though he's "a nice guy" what I am doing is wrong. She says when you become a mom you are a mom first, woman second.

What do you think?

I think if you can't be a happy woman, you can't be a happy mom. I also believe I deserve a good person and healthy relationship.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:36 PM on Jan. 4, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (24)
  • Thats nuts. You need to be a happy woman first!!! If he makes you happy dont let her bother you. Congrats on the healthy relationship!

    Answer by Collegemommy910 at 5:39 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • You need to do what feels right for you and your kids. That's your cross to bear. If it feels right and healthy then go for it!! You know what they say... opinions are like butt's... everyone has one!!


    Answer by Crafty26 at 5:41 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • Its easy to say stay single when you're in a relationship. I wouldn't want my mother being lonely because of me. What an awful way to make you feel bad. My kids are too young now, but if the right guy comes along I'm snatching him up. A happy mom is a good mom.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 5:44 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • Sorry but that is total BS! You are supposed to put your life on hold, just because you have children?

    You can provide them with a happy, stable family while single but even moreso when you have someone decent who loves you and your kids... and there's something wrong with that? Really?!

    Answer by Awakened1 at 5:44 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • What I mean is - my kids are too young to feel concern over me being single - not that they're too young for me to date.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 5:45 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • If your kids are happy with this new guy in their life. It should be ok.
    It does not bother some women to stay single tell their kids are grown.

    Answer by louise2 at 5:48 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • As long as you put your children before your new relationship, there is nothing wrong with finding a new love! If anything it benefits the children to see how a healthy relationship looks, and what they should aspire to be to their future partners.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 5:48 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • My thoughts are as long as the new relationship isn't getting priority over the kids then it is perfectly fine to have a relationship. I somewhat agree with your mother in the fact that the kids come first, but not to the point that you cannot have a relationship. I think it would be good for the kids to see what a healthy relationship looks like.

    Answer by aeneva at 6:12 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • It might help for children to know Mom likes to have friends, especially since he seems to be a catch.

    Answer by bertie4 at 8:16 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

  • Go date. Life does not end when we have children.

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 8:37 PM on Jan. 4, 2011

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