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adopting to family

adopting your baby to an aunt and uncle could you do it?????????wouldnt it be harder to still have the baby around?????????or would it be better to adopt to a stranger youll never see again?????

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:02 AM on Jan. 5, 2011 in Adoption

Answers (16)
  • i think it would be harder to call your baby your cousin...sitting there with the baby dont you think you would feel piss cuz you should of just keep it.. and i dont really know honestly

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:06 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • A friend of mine had her sister adopt her daughter when she was very young. My friend was only 19 or so when she gave birth, and just wasn't in a place to handle being a mom. Her daughter knows the whole situation, as do my friend's other children. The families are very close, and it works well for everyone involved. I'd rather have my baby close. It wouldn't be easy, but is it ever when you give up your child?

    Answer by musicpisces at 3:24 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I think it would depend on how close the family was. I think I would rather have the child be adopted outside of the family, it would be awfully hard for me not to try and be the "parent" when we were together.

    Answer by Scuba at 7:33 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • No matter who you relinquish your child to, it is usually extremely hard. Each situation is different and has its own challenges. Having relinquished a child to a closed adoption many years ago, it is not something I would EVER recommend in most instances. Besides, adoption, if it needs to happen at all, should be about what is best for a child, not what is easiest. I do not think adoption is generally the best option no matter who gets the child.

    Answer by Southernroots at 10:21 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I agree with Southernroots. However, since your question is an either or, I would never chose a closed adoption, never. It would not only be easier for me being able to see my baby grow up, but it is also better for the child being raised in his birth family; The family that shares his heritage and genetic traits; Not having to wonder who he looks like or why he was adopted; Having contact with his birth mother.
    I am firmly against secrets and lies in adoption, so I see no reason why I would have to be known as cousin rather than birth mom. He could know that I am his birth mom and his mommy and daddy are his adoptive parents and are raising him.
    This of course is the idea situation. The reality is that family adoptions can cause all kinds of rifts. Mainly due to secrets and lies and often because these kinds of adoptive parents have not had the training that most adoptive parents have to go through as part of the process.

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:20 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • i do agree. i think its hard to do an in family adoption but at least i would know where and if he/she is being takin care of...yeah its gonna be hard. and if there are gonna be secerts that will put strain on the family.....

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:31 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • If you're trying to think in the best interests of the child, then kinship adoption is definitely better. The child retains a link to their birth family and, believe me, that is very important to most adopted children as they get older.

    Answer by ceallaigh at 3:11 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • better than not being a good MOM and better than abortion.

    Answer by chefjen at 3:13 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • My 24 yr old is the birth/first mom of my son who is 5. She, too, is adopted. While our son (and by OUR, I mean My son, Dh's son and HER son) is more her brother in the family unit - we don't EVER refer to him as her brother, nor her as his sister. She's told me a few times now that she has another son whom she is parenting that Austin is more like a brother to her. But it's not been a negative thing. I think sometimes it's much more difficult for her, and sometimes it keeps her from that haunting question of where he's at and how he is.

    We don't have secrets around here about adoption. Secrets can destroy families and we choose to celebrate the way our family was built, rather than hide and lie about it.

    I HAVE seen kinship adoption rip families apart - either thru secrets and lies OR also when one party or the other is so jealous of the other and they can't grow up and be mature for the child. Sad stuff!

    Answer by AAAMama at 9:42 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • kinda lost me there, it a son or daughter?????you said...(((.birth/first mom of my son who is 5. She, too, is adopted). total didnt get what you said at all im sorry

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:08 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

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