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What would you do if you thought you might be gay but it was against your belief system?

I'm so confused atm. I've never really liked men, I like girls during teenage years but everyone knows that's just hormones and idolising and stuff. Then at uni I met a sweet man who loved me, we got married and had 2 children. Unfortunately he was diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed away 8 years ago. The kids are 12 and 10 now so I'm starting to think about relationships and I've realised all these years I've never liked a man, always women. On the TV always women. I never looked at the men. I recently met a woman who talks to me non-stop and I started to think what the hell am I feeling. I sound like a confused teenager I know.

All my life i've been taught that being gay is wrong and it's something to be abhorred and now I'm so confused. Do I just ignore it and stay alone? I don't think it would be fair if I found a man who I liked as a friend... I'm not sure. I'm only 31 so I don't want to be alone forever. Or can I change my belief system? I'm honestly in a pickle.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:58 AM on Jan. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (25)
  • If my belief system didnt embrace me for who I was then Id choose another one. You need to be happy and proud of yourself and do what you need to do that satisfies you and helps you live a happy life. GL
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 9:00 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • being gay is not wrong. nor is being bisexual, transgender, etc... its the way we are born. I was raised in a very old fashioned family where being gay is wrong, being black wa wrong, basically being anything other then what we were was wrong. once i left home i realized how superfical that was and how wrong that thinking was! i surpressed my own feelings for years because of the way i was raised. you are a person. people are created to love. base your relationships on love not gender! gl
    JOR_HAIL

    Answer by JOR_HAIL at 9:02 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • explore new belief system that works for you
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:03 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • You can still have whatever belief system you had before, but if you want to be openly gay and accepted at church you may want to find a church that is open to gay members. They do exist. Our church does. Jesus didn't hate gays, He hasn't changed.
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 9:03 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • you should do whatever YOU want !
    it's your decision noone elses.
    my mom and dad split about 5 years ago, and my mom got with a women.
    of course there's always people who wont understand, but it's whatever you feel,
    for whoever you feel it towards.

    good luck (:
    ohhowilovemyson

    Answer by ohhowilovemyson at 9:03 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Denial isn't healthy. I agree that you are who you are and if that crosses your belief system I think you should change your beliefs.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:04 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I think that it is important for you to be happy in life. You may need to do a lot of thinking on what is more important: being happy and true to yourself or a belief system that does not fit you. I think that I would try to find a way to do both. Find a system that works for you and you feel happy with and remember that love knows no bounds!
    tisharanes

    Answer by tisharanes at 9:06 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I'd like to give a double thumbs up to Steph319!!!

    I just had an odd conversation with my 12yr old niece about 2 weeks ago about being gay. Long story short, she now has a different view of those who are gay.

    I know several people, both male and female.... EVERYONE is entitled to be happy and loved.... gay, straight, bi, purple or green!

    Best of Luck!
    MrsDAP

    Answer by MrsDAP at 9:07 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Be who you are and be happy. It may have some obstacles but denial will only make you more miserable. One day at a time.
    drpepper73

    Answer by drpepper73 at 9:11 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • – collapse
    Don't change your belief system. You belief system is right. People want many things in life because we are of the flesh .The flesh and temptation can always get you into trouble. That is why there is a devil.
    hollinshead

    Answer by hollinshead at 9:12 AM on Jan. 5, 2011 (hidden) + expand

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