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Why do so many women agree to just live with a man for years without marriage?

I can understand living together at first, but after a few years, why still settle for just living together? It seems many then have a child, maybe thinking that will push him into getting married, and it still doesn't happen. And the woman continues to stay. I'm not trying to bash anyone for the decisions they've made, I'm just trying to understand the real thinking behind why so many women end up in this position, and if they had it to do over, what would they have done differently.


Asked by SweetLuci at 9:38 AM on Jan. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Level 33 (61,712 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • I can't wait to see what women write, because I do not get why you would move in together if not going to get married?

    Mr right might be out there, but you will never know it because you are living with Mr. wrong.

    almost all my friends that lived together with their man and got married are now divorced . Only one is still together, that is my sister that lived her hubby for ten years. (but this is her 3-marriage)

    I was told it is the best way to get to know someone, but than my question is why would you move in with someone you don't know well? scary?

    Answer by gammie at 9:53 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • maybe they get government bennys and if they were to get married then the boyfriends income would be included...taking away from there food stamps, college education, or whatever

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:41 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • unless they also don't want marriage..i don't know. They live on hope i guess & probably don't think they can find anyone better.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:41 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Government benefits. I know a few women that refuse to get married until their kids are grown because of the food stamps, etc that they get. So, so wrong.

    Answer by August07Mom at 10:03 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • There are no rules, to each his/her own.  It doesn't matter, as long as the family unit works.


    Answer by beeky at 9:45 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Everyone I know that has lived together without getting married, even after having children, have had better relationships than all the married couples I've met. They don't get married because they don't see the point. Their commitment to each other is enough for them and they don't need the government or anyone else to tell them that they're committed to each other. Marriage changes people, and not always for the better.

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 10:35 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Some people are really against marriage in general. If they love each other and are committed the piece of paper doesn't mean anything. I don't question other people's choices for their relationship - if they are happy it's all good.

    Answer by Scuba at 9:48 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Because marriage does not determine happiness. Not everyone buys into that idea, nor is it a prerequisite to a healthy relationship.

    In short, if its not broke, why fix it?

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 9:48 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I lived with my ex for 7 years without getting married. I never wanted to marry him. I could never trust him with a child, money, appointments, myself or with anything for that matter. But he was fun to be around! My current SO and I have been together for 3 years, living together just 3 weeks shy of 3 years. I'm expecting in May. Our situation is different. We can't afford to get married the way we want to right now. I don't even care if we DO get married- I don't need a legally binding contract to know that I am going to be with him the rest of my life. But when I became pregnant we decided that we didn't want to get married right after finding out- otherwise everyone would think that it's JUST because of the baby when it's not.

    Everyone's situation is different. Honestly I never believed in

    Answer by meandrphoto at 9:49 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Honestly i just think that each couple takes their own unique path and has to deal with their own unique circumstances. I know many couples that didnt live together prior to marriage and are now divorced so i think it all comes down to the love that the couple has for each other, if its strong no matter the circumstances they will work things out, if weak, connection will fail.

    Answer by GroceryMom at 11:05 AM on Jan. 5, 2011