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So I need to go to L.A. for business...

I am starting my own company and the father of my child (whom I live with) is not happy. I would only be gone for a week. Since there is no custody established I'm scared he might try some bs... But I don't want to try for custody until I'm making stable money and have my own place.

He says he only wants to be there and support me (mentally and all not financially) if I'm going to school. I went to school but had to stop because he wouldn't watch my son or he'd take the car key... the list goes on... Anyways he is mad that I sometimes gogo dance (where all your clothes stay on) but says he doesn't care if I strip. My company is a promotion/ entertainment company so I do have to work around men and that is why he doesn't support this, yet he'd rather have me naked on strange men?!?! (sorry that part was a vent)

Anyways would I get introuble for taking my son to my mother's in Oregon ( we live in WA) for that week? He said it's kidnapping but I'm not sure... any advice would be appreciated... I really can't miss this opportunity, it's going to be a huge milestone for my business but I don't want him to try to run off with my son...

And btw I could have completely lied about everything to him but I chose to be honest.. but he is so insecure he thinks I'm having sex with everything that walks

Thanks for listening!

Answer Question
 
June_Mama09

Asked by June_Mama09 at 10:19 AM on Jan. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Level 26 (26,054 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I don't think he would have a very good argument for "kidnapping," since he knows where the child will be and with whom. Without a formal custody agreement in place, you aren't violating a court order or anything. It doesn't sound like you are married, if that's the case he has even less of an argument.

    He sounds controlling and manipulative. Do what you need to do.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 10:22 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • My sister and husband were at odds one year. While she was at work he went to their child daycare and took her and went out of state for a whole week. My sister talked to a lawyer and he said it was nothing she could do because he was the bd and they both had custody of her. Hope this helps and good luck.
    nicjon

    Answer by nicjon at 10:26 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I think that if you give permission to your nother to watch the kids for a week, he cannot claim kidnapping. He can try, but the police will ask what happened & then they wil laugh at them when he tells them that you took your child to your mothers house.

    It's only considered kidnapping if somone other than the custodial parents take the child without permission. He's just trying to scare you.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:27 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • * mother
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:28 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • If he has threatened to file kidnapping charges on you then by forewarned, cause he might. With the way things are today I would be super careful with this, the police take this kind of stuff very seriously. You are taking HIS son out of state, he has every reason to call the police and file a missing persons report on his son. I would check the laws out first before you do this. Even go down to the local police dept and ask them yourself. At least you would know what would happen if he indeed went after you on this.

    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 10:28 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • thanks beyonhopes... so could I call the police station? It's cold and wet and I don't have my car at the moment
    June_Mama09

    Comment by June_Mama09 (original poster) at 10:30 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I say it could cause more conflict down the road between you and him if you go to this function and take your child with you. I wouldn't take that chance and wait till a further date when things are more kosher prior to starting your business because its just not worth the risk of losing your child to him through the courts etc. But thats just my opinion:) Things like this can get sticky and in my opinion nothings worth the risk of losing my child.
    GroceryMom

    Answer by GroceryMom at 10:33 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Sure, call them and just ask. I sure would. You dont want to go thru something with idiot that far away. Just make sure all your basis are covered. The ladies stated there is no court order set up, but that doesnt mean he cant file a missing persons report. Imagine if he took your son out of state and you didnt want him too. Same thing
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 10:33 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • No, its not kidnapping. But I would look it up and also if you are not married in a number of states you are the only custodial parent. check up on these things. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 10:40 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • i totally understand... but the thing is I'm trying to work something out but he is being so irrational and trying to use my son against me to keep me with him... I would never take my son away from his father but he makes all these threats.. however empty they are, I'm not going to take them lightly because my son is my everything (besides God of course) and I'm the one that watches him all day and night... his dad gets playtime... I wash the dishes, clean the house, give him baths, feed him, wash his clothes, EVERYTHING!!! His father hasn't done jack. He does pay the bills at the moment but there is more to being a father than that
    June_Mama09

    Comment by June_Mama09 (original poster) at 10:43 AM on Jan. 5, 2011

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