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Separation- I need some advise on how to go about it.

My husband is being a lazy loser. He has not been employed for a long time with the exception of working a couple hours a week at a local restaurant. Basically he makes just enough to pay for his health insurance every month... nothing else. During the day when I am working my 8+ hours mon-friday, he sits at home in a chair sleeping or playing on my laptop. He doesn't watch my daughter, he doesn't support me financially, he doesn't clean the house, he does nothing. I have come to my wits end and have decided I want him out. But now that I have made the decision, he suddenly is applying for jobs, honestly I still want him gone for a while until he secures something, but how do I say that and remain civil and friends?

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Asked by coffegal at 4:29 PM on Nov. 11, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • its gonna be tuff but just try to explain to him that you need him to prove hes going to be come stable befor you can commit 100% again. Im sure you still love him so make sure he knows this. reasure him that if he can hold down a job and prove hes going to help out that things will be ok if of course you want them to be.

    Answer by Mommy2B04 at 4:33 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • Well civil and friends might not work so well. What you feel you have to do is what you need to do. Just tell him the truth. Tell him you feel a seperation might be best for awhile. See what he comes up with in that time.

    Answer by pupmom at 4:36 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • my hubby can be a lazy fool too. i just lay it down to him that this is unacceptable and he needs to contribute... we all wish we could stay home, but we're grownups and we have responsibilities. i made my hubby give me a list of every phone call and e-mail and visit he made since he had lied about that stuff in the past to keep me off his back. i made sure he had information about a free jobs program, including an appointment with an org that helps bipolar people get and keep jobs. he blew off the appointments in favor of just getting a job. one thing in my favor - we have on paper what our idea of a good husband and wife is from a workbook when we got our marriage license. get him to tell you what he thinks he should be doing. he won't be able to tell you sit on his ass with a straight face.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 5:21 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • I don't think you should give up so easily. I would definitely tell him he needs to get a full time job and yesterday! But you should get into counseling before you give up on this completely.

    Answer by feesharose at 5:40 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

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