Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

6 Bumps

So how am I a bad parent for not supporting my daughter when she became a teen mom ?

I work hard so my kids can have things, I give them respect and I expect to get it back !

My daughter got pregnant at 17 , when she turned 18 I made her leave our home ( she knew at 18 it was time to go anyways) .....

It makes me sick that she is trying to bum off of family members, my mom took her in, doesnt charge her to stay there and watches the baby ( she had the baby 3 days after her birthday) for FREE ! My daughter did get a job, but she is still living the high life buying whatever and not having to pay rent or utilities. Instead my granddaughter has nice ( expensive) clothes and headbands, she is only 2 months old and has every toy made....

I think it is disgusting that my mother in law would allow this, but yet I am the one who is a bad parent ??? Because I wouldnt support a bad choice !

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Jan. 5, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (46)
  • my mom would have done the same thing

    Answer by pookipoo at 2:19 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Sorry Babe.. you made the bed, now you have to lay in it. She's an adult. Yur MIL is an adult. Not much you can do about any of it.

    Answer by Jambo4 at 2:19 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I'm sorry, but I can't imagine turning my child away because she became pregnant.

    Answer by arenad at 2:20 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Bad motherhood is very subjective, isn't it? You can be a bad mom for pretty much anything because someone else's opinions and standards are different. You just can't let it get to you. And it's none of your business if your mother-in-law allows herself to be taken advantage of. You just have to let it go.

    Answer by misses_nick at 2:20 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • You're not a bad parent. If I were you, however, I'd have kept her at home in the first place - then perhaps you could keep a closer eye on her spending and advise her. If it's possible for you I'd get her back home and teach her the value of money. I don't think you're a bad parent I think you were trying to teach her a lesson but with someone like your MIL out there it's going to be hard!

    Answer by leah_rai at 2:21 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • You should have supported even if it was a mistake, we all make those, and first and foremost, this is your daughter mistakes or not and that baby is your grandchild, doesn't this mean anything to you? What is done is done, there is no turning back, what you did was create a wedge forever! great going mom!

    Answer by older at 2:21 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I would let it go. Your daughter learned her entitled behavior from somewhere so I would make sure if you have anymore kids at home you are changing things up so the other kids don't grow up to be like your daughter.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I think it is more of the point that my MIL WONT take money from my daughter... what is that showing her ?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:24 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • She is showing her unconditional love which is something everyone needs to make it and hopefully your daughter will learn how to take care of herself, with or without your help.

    Answer by peace013 at 2:31 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Her getting pregnant is something I won't touch as I was never a teen mother and my daughter is only a toddler. However, I don't understand the mentality that as soon as a child turns 18, they must immediately leave the house. Why does parenting stop at 18 for so many in this country? I'm not saying that I want my daughter living with us until she is 30, but I'm not going to kick her out just because she's had another birthday.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 2:34 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.