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my 4 yr. old son is use to sleeping with me bc its only been us for 3 yrs. since divorce. His dad now has 2 other small children at home and wants me to get him in his own bed. I have joint custody and its always just been us. im now in a serious relationship and he also thinks its best for him to be in his own bed. i just started sticker chart for him. what else can i do heart broken but know its time too.


Asked by sleeplessmomma at 2:30 PM on Jan. 5, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (5)
  • Don't do this for your ex and don't do this for your new man, do it because you feel its time. And once you decide that, do not blame either of them for it. When you are ready and sure you are doing it because you feel its best, start slow. How does he go to bed now? Do you go to bed together, or do you put him in your bed and let him fall asleep to the tv or what? I can give more tips if I know what he's doing now. We are currently working on getting my 3.5 year old in his own bed for the whole night. So far we've got him going to bed in his room at night, but he gets up around 1-2 am, we (I) bring him back to bed and lay with him and he goes back to sleep, but generally comes back around 4 or so... its a work in progress, but we're getting there! I'm not one to rip the bandaid off quickly, lol.

    Answer by gramsmom at 3:00 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I let my 2 year old pick out "special" sheets for his bed when he went into his big boy bed. He picked Thomas and he loves to go to bed and "sleep with Thomas". Also - a special teddy bear, stuffed money, etc. to keep him company might help. And does he need a night light?

    Answer by missanc at 2:38 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I'd tell dad to deal with it. When the child is in my home he does as I think is right. If you want the child sleeping with you then so be it. Let dad train him in his home the way he wants things done

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:32 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • My son slept w/ us for quite a while, but at 4 years old, it is probably time for him to move into his own bed, especially since you now have a SO. And, you want things to be consistent in both your & your ex's households.

    I know how hard this is, believe me :( With our son, we would lay down with him for a while, let him know we were right there if he needed us, etc. BTW, he is 8 & still ends up in our bed sometimes because he's lonely.

    Good luck!!

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 2:39 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I'm working on getting our daughter to sleep in her own bed too. I have found sticker charts to be a great tool. Our bedtime ritual: read three stories together, then lay down with her in her room until she falls asleep. (Sometimes I doze off and my husband has to wake me up!) She still ends up in our bed often, but I think she is making progress.

    Answer by fraujones at 3:16 PM on Jan. 5, 2011