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WHAT THE HELL!!! Horrible day!

Anyone else get pissed at their kids? Like, BEYOND pissed? If you say you don't I think its a lie. I get pissed but I don't act on anything.

Like today. It has been a HORRIBLE FREAKING DAY!!!!! I'm a single mom, and DS won't listen at ALL (yes, he knows what NO means), everytime I TELL him no, whether softly or more assertively, he cries. When I go OUCH he cries. Again, whether softly or a little louder. I reward him with positive praise and hugs and stuff when he does well at stuff or listens to me, so its not like all I am saying to him is negative. And to add to that, he is beginning his separation anxiety! He has been doing this stuff for weeks!

WHAT THE HELL!?!?

 
CalebsMommy0220

Asked by CalebsMommy0220 at 2:50 PM on Jan. 5, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 16 (3,023 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • I know life with a toddler can be stressful, and I personally think that being a single mom is the HARDEST job in the world, so you have my sympathies. Try to remember that he isn't doing these things to piss you off, he isn't trying to be bad. He is a little boy who has to learn everything that is right and wrong, and as a single mom you unfortunately have to teach him all of that yourself. With a toddler just because you told them no yesterday, or an hour ago for that matter, doesn't mean they remember. They don't know it will break, or hurt them, etc. Do your best to put stuff up that he tries to get into so there is no temptation. Try to engage him in things that keep him occupied and entertained in ways you approve of. If he cries when you say no or ouch then he clearly wants to please you, keep showing him when he does. When he doesn't try time out instead of yelling, it gives you a chance to calm down too. Hang in there
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:49 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I think we all have those days at times....GRRR! Is he tired at all? when my 2 yr old gets like that even if it is 10 am he seems to be in need of a NAP! Couldnt hurt to try or give him a little alone time
    rebeccadac

    Answer by rebeccadac at 2:53 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I have been giving him naps and stuff. He still acts like this.
    CalebsMommy0220

    Comment by CalebsMommy0220 (original poster) at 2:54 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Thank you MaryMW. I appreciate the HELP instead of the CRITICISM. I don't only praise him when he "performs" for me, as Linda said. I praise him all the time. I play with him. I have UNconditional love for him. Personally, Linda you can get over yourself. Let me guess- you have a "perfect" family. Fake.
    CalebsMommy0220

    Comment by CalebsMommy0220 (original poster) at 11:14 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Pick a different word. No is overused, and it quickly stops being effective. As you have seen.

    Praise has its own problems --starting with the base is stands on: conditional love. When you show love and affection only (or even mostly) when he performs the way you want him to, he becomes addicted to approval, and attention. That has nowhere pleasant to go.

    Get yourself a copy of Unconditional Parenting, by Alfie Kohn.

    You are experiencing a difference of opinion. Turns out your little guy isn't a unit of you that you control and command to your own ends, but a whole and complete individual with his own view of life that does not (and will never) match yours.

    The real question is: when there is a conflict of whims (which way you each prefer things to go) who wins? Why?
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 2:58 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

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