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4 Bumps

if you had to move cuz of a job, would u take your teen ?

my hubby might be getting a promotion and we may have to move three hours away. my two kids who are 15 yr old ( son in high school ) and 13 ( daughter in 8th ) said they would rather stay here in town and live with their real dad and not move with me and my husband ( their step dad ). im heart broken. i understand why my son who is in high school doesnt want to move but .... my DH says we should not give my 13 yr old daughter a choice.

what do you guys think ?

Answer Question
 
mistik75

Asked by mistik75 at 3:06 PM on Jan. 5, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 15 (2,016 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • That's a difficult situation. At those ages, I would let the kids choose for themselves. At 14, I made the choice to move in with my father, and it was a great decision for me.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 3:08 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I don't think it would be fair to let one and not the other. That's just my opinion.
    arenad

    Answer by arenad at 3:08 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • honestly I would be hearbroken too but if dad is a good dad I would really consider letting them stay.Iwould be in tears myself but switching schools is so so hard if they are well adapted and doing good. My son moved in middle of kinder and for whatever reason this caring easy going kids did not adpat well....Now he loves it but i can't imagine moving him again unless necessary.
    hill2

    Answer by hill2 at 3:09 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Do you have full custody? split? If you had full custody then they should not have a choice....Your son is at the age where he is able to choose who he wants to live with so he should have the choice (if bio-dad is ok with it) and your DD should have to go with you. If it is split then I would let them choose and if they live with biodad then you should get them every other weekend and when they have breaks from school.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 3:10 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • yes i have full custody.
    mistik75

    Comment by mistik75 (original poster) at 3:13 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I would let her stay. If you make her leave she might end up giving you lots of trouble because she really didn't want to move. Also, even if you have full custody, she might be old enough to make her own decisions. IN my state kids have a say once they turn 12 so if her father will let her live with her she just might fight you to stay with him. I would talk with your kids and try to understand why they want to stay with their father.

    I know it will be hard and you never know in the long run she may decided that she wants to live with you.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 3:18 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I would want my kids to move with me.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 3:20 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • they both said they want to stay because they are tired of moving . they said they are tired of switching schools (( we use to be in the army had to move a few times before ))
    mistik75

    Comment by mistik75 (original poster) at 3:22 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I would let my kids stay .
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 3:28 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I would not want my kids to stay without me, but I do know that in some states as soon as they are teens the kids can decide where they want to live. It would be better to let them decide on their terms than in court, I would think.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 3:29 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

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