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should i leave it alone or talk to him about it adult content

so i have a bad habit of checking the past history on the computer and i noticed that my s/o has been dealiting the history well the fist thought was why well i found out he has been watching porn well im not agenst this but im not with it either i really dont know what to think i have talked to him about it before and told him i dont like it but i dont know if i should be mad or leave it alone..... is it ok to let them watch porn?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Jan. 5, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • He obviously wants to not offend you, that means he cares. While you may not be ok with porn, guys don't view it as sex like many women do. It's simply something to visually stimulate him- like watching FOod Network when you need inspiration for dinner. Are you really that thrilled with cooking before you see Emril take out a gorgeous roast? I sure don't.

    There's the argument of "why couldn't he wait for me?"

    Well sometimes guys don't feel like being intimate but their parts want some relief. Its a stress reliever and if he was stressed or not feeling good to begin with he probably didn't want to worry about taking care of your needs too.

    Don't be so worried about it unless he stops sleeping with you all together. That means there is a real problem.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 3:50 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • If you're not comfortable with him looking at porn he should respect your wishes and not look at it
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:46 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • If you are checking it, you don't trust him. If he is deleting it, he is covering something up.

    You two need help. Neither of you trust the other or have respect for the other. Before you confront him, you need to accept some of the blame for sneaking peeks at the history in the first place.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 3:52 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • If you say something, you wont ever be able to check again,,he will make sure to delete from now on,,,everything he does. Just a thought
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:46 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • @meandrphoto

    I personally find pornography absolutely abhorrent and will never tolerate it in my life, but it has been an issue in my marriage's early days. Sometimes insecurity still creeps in. No one was ever able to say anything to me that helped me see it from his perspective before, but you just did!

    "Well sometimes guys don't feel like being intimate but their parts want some relief. Its a stress reliever and if he was stressed or not feeling good to begin with he probably didn't want to worry about taking care of your needs too."

    Thank you for that. I still don't hold with porn, but somehow your precise phrase helped me understand a little better.

    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 3:59 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I'm glad, misses nick, I struggled with it for a long time too.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 4:08 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I don't think it's a big deal, and I wouldn't really care if my SO was looking at it, because I look at it too, and we've watched it together. I 100% trust him and vice versa, we have a very understanding relationship and I would never do anything to hurt him and he wouldn't do anything to hurt me.
    sugaree

    Answer by sugaree at 5:02 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I dont think a man should have to hide anything, that would bother me. if he was looking at porn, that wouldn't bother me either.
    buzymamaof3

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 5:14 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • If you aren't ok with it, then you need to talk to him.
    abra

    Answer by abra at 5:22 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • It's HIS choice to watch or not to watch porn. Not yours. Your personal preference on it makes no difference unless he wants it to make a difference. You can't ban him from watching porn, because he is an adult who has every right to watch it. He clearly is hiding it from you because he knows you don't agree with it.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 5:52 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

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