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my stepdaugher refuses to have a relationship with us and hasn't even told us about the birth of her baby 5 months ago

my stepdaughter and I both have 3 yr old sons and now she has a baby girl. She won't call our house, we found out about the last baby through family. It is a touchy topic with my husband, her dad and he won't talk about it. i want to mend fences, how do I go about it. I contacted her through myspace, she never said anything but she added me as a friend. I am hoping thats a good sign. What are your thoughts???

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:52 AM on Jul. 7, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • Sounds like she might have issues with her father. Just keep reaching out to her as a friend, keep it light, and don't put any pressure on her. She'll come around.

    Answer by my_daisy at 4:25 AM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • It sounds like her father needs to be the one doing the reaching out. If they have issues that need to be resolved, they need to do it in their own time. It's tough.

    Answer by ella_mom at 4:51 AM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • He has tried over and over to reach out to her, he gets a cold shoulder in return

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

  • I say just keep reaching out to her as a friend because I have been in your very shoes. The issues between your stepdaughter and her father are between them, and that is something that they will have to address. You can be a tremendous help by just being her friend, not her stepmother. She already has a mother and chances are she is not trying to replace her. By slowly becoming her friend, you will gain her trust, and this may help where her father is concerned.

    Answer by my_daisy at 12:33 AM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • Let her come around on her own time. Sometimes by trying to help you only make matters worse. Just worry about the things you can control.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Jul. 14, 2008

  • I would never inform my parents of any children i have either. There is obviously a REASOSN she chooses not to. You probably know exactly what that is. If it was so hurtful that contact has ceased to that degree, you should repsect it, mourn your loss and go on with your life. Sounds cruel maybe, but i can put myself in her shoes and thats how i would want it.

    Answer by YamahaMamma at 3:53 AM on Jul. 31, 2008

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