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2 Bumps

My libido has dropped!! What to do? adult content

My DH and I have sex maybe 3-5 times a month. It used to be 2-3 times a day when we were dating. We have 3 kids, 2 from my previous relationships and 1 together. We have been together for almost 4 years and when we met he treated me like I was this queen and he never complained about paying for things and taking me out and treating me like I was the only thing that mattered. Fast forward 3 years and he's sarcastic to me, jokes with me when I'm serious or jokes about me, we fight 5 days of the week, which in turn, turns me off to sex. I've told him, my brain is hardwired to my sexy parts. If I'm mad at you, I'm not going to want to turn that off so I can have sex with the person who is pissing me off!
Our sex is great when we do have it, and he satifies every need for me and I him. But I don't know what to do to get in the mood more. We have dates night once in a while, but that's it. I feel like I'm going to the movies with a friend. Or dinner and we just sit there and eat.
He is loving and cares about me, like wanting to kiss me all the time, or hold my hand, but it always ends up with him just trying to grab at my body. Which sets me off, like he can't respect me enough to not grab my boobs or rub against my butt. I don't know what to do!!! We've talked about it before, but it always comes back to the circle. Don't do that and I would want to have sex with you more. You give me what I ask for and I won't do the things I do to make you mad..And on and on...

Answer Question
 
thomasfam14

Asked by thomasfam14 at 10:13 PM on Jan. 5, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (14 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Just remember that is how some men are intimate. If you can overlook that a few times (which is hard) he will be more apt to not be so grabby and give you more of what you need. We go through that battle as well.
    jen2774161

    Answer by jen2774161 at 10:21 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Oh. This whole year I haven't wanted sex at all. (The year 2010 that is). I even went to the 'sex store' and bought lotions to increase blood flow down there and toys but it isn't really helping. I feel the same way about dh. He doesn't listen to me and if I tell him how I feel, he turns into a smartass and makes fun of me. I do not care if I ever have sex again. Lol.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I think we all feel that way at some time in our marriages, I have told my husband I feel like a sex machine when he wants me to just STOP what I'm doing to have sex, just because he wants it. We've had this go round for years, and he listens and then does it all over again. Men just want sex when they want it, no matter what we're doing or where we're doing it. I swear I use to be afraid to tell him I didn't feel good, it seemed it was an instant hard on for him, but let him be feeling sick, oh well leave me alone. Men are just wired differenly than we are, and all touchy, feeley. Sometimes, we want to be just left alone, unless it's in the bedroom and they don't get it. Just don't think your alone in this, I bet every woman goes through it, I guess it's just life, and if you love each other you some how thru the years learn how to handle it and get thru it, at least we did, and we still are.
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 12:32 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Let your partner know of your slump and let him know that your hormones are out of whack. Get on some different birth control that helps with libido. You'll find that the Ortho Evra patch is great for this.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 3:00 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • You know Tam, I was thinking that was it. I've been through several methods of BC and I found they worked for me if I worked with it. I am HORRIBLE at remembering to take a pill, that's how I had my first 2 kids lol so I chose the depo shot. I recieved massive headaches every day so I stopped. Then did the patch and it worked great for me, but after I had my 3rd child, they wouldn't prescribe it because I was severely over the weight limit for it. So they put me on Nuvaring which helps out great, but I still get minor headaches. I don't want an IUD? (I think those are the initials lol) or the one you put in your arm..So when I have my surgery in the next few months, I'll be able to change to the patch which hopefully will bring back my libido! Thank you ladies so much for your insight. I really did feel like I was alone!
    thomasfam14

    Comment by thomasfam14 (original poster) at 3:53 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

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