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what would you do?

A friend of mine has a daughetr that will be 5 in Feb. Her daughter can barely speak. If she does speak you can not understand her. She was evaluated over the summer and was told she speaks and a one year old level. She was advised to take her to speech theraphy and she has not taken her..not even once! When it was time to sign her up for k1 with speech theraphy offered she never did. She just now enrolled her in daycare. She never worked with her daughter academically barely speaks to her and I think that is where her speech delay started. Her daughter seems to have characteristics of autism. Given she never took time for speech theraphy how do I tell her her daughter my have autism. I doubt she takes her to drs for regular check ups. I feel so bad for the little breaks my heart. When I see her she looks so not well taken care of. Should I mind my business or talk to her to get it together for her daughter

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:16 PM on Jan. 5, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • Talk to her she may get upset but at least you know you have tried to bring it to her attention she may feel she is doing nothing wrong, its more harm to the child then good especially when she starts school they may put her in special education.

    Answer by Marie_07 at 10:18 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • i would do it in a way that seems like your just giving tips. like ask if she has therapy at school or has she been tested on your skills yet (our school tests all kids in prek to see what level they are at and if they need any extra help) then saywell i know that this helped with my child to do this to get them to talk..... try to steer it away from being judgemental you would upset her unless you dont care. but as it is her daughter i would keep it to just tips.

    Answer by laura970 at 10:22 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Sounds to me like this is far from the time to mind your business. Talk to your friend. Maybe she just doesn't see that there is a problem. We all know that it's hard to see sometimes from within our own boxes.

    Answer by SpaceToast at 10:24 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • if she is in a daycare they might be able to help with the speech, although if it is daycare and not preschool then maybe not. You could try and talk with her although she might get upset. You could contact social services Anonymously and see if they can help this child. Once she gets into school she will start to get the help she needs. I know that is a little late, although I am not sure what else you can do.

    You would think that she goes to the doctor at least once a year for a check up and that they would say something to her.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 10:25 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • To the person who said she may not recognize it..she does!! And constantly says how her daughter can't talk. She doesn't have time to take her to speech therapy but found time to go to social security to get disability money.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:29 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • If you do not feel comfortable confronting her on the issue, you can always make an anonymous report to CPS if you believe it is that serious. And do not feel bad about it either, CPS's sole responsibility is all children's welfare. Her child will not be taken from her just because you call them and file a report, but they will do an investigation and look into the child's medical history and inspect the home and of course meet with the child. I dealt with CPS when my son was first born because I smoked pot while I was pregnant and yes it was a hassle and they came and inspected my home and I had to go and be interviewed with my newborn son at their office a couple times. I was honest as I always am, and the case was closed less than a month later. They were only do their job and I was happy to comply! If she is properly taking care of her child, she should have nothing to worry about.

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 10:30 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Just casually bring it up to her and dont try to tell her that shes being a selfish parent (my thought on it). Whether she doesnt feel the need to take her or just doesnt want to think anything is wrong she is still being selfish... i digress(sp?). THe point was that she cant feel attacked or she wont listen to what your saying. Just ask her why she decided against the speech therapy and that if taken early it can change a childs life. When i was around 3 no one could understand what i was saying. I became withdrawn and embarrassed because i couldnt speak (or so im told). I do remember being VERY frustrated when speaking to others though. My mom started taking me to speech therapy and i had fun going as well as got rid of my horrible stuttering problem. Just say how its easier to go when youre young and see what she thinks.

    Answer by Nicolenew at 10:31 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Wow well that is really sad if she knows & chooses not to do anything about it smh thats a damn shame

    Answer by Marie_07 at 10:34 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • BTW, my son is 2 and not speaking but a few select words yet. I speak to him constantly about everything around us and he has been going to speech therapy once a week for the last 2 months. His pedi. thought I was overreacting a bit by even having his speech assessed so early but I was worried, took him in and the therapist recommended once a week visits and we have been taking ever since and he is showing a few signs of progress already!!

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 10:34 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • taking him ever since

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 10:36 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

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