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3 Bumps

Don't touch me!

I hope this isn't too long but here goes. Since last June I've had a hysterectomy, TOT sling and incontinence. The tot sling did not work, in fact things were even worse than before. So I underwent many exams and tests. Recently, the tot sling was taken out and a tvt sling put in. At the same time a rectocele and cystocele were repaired.

All of this required doctors putting their hands inside me to do their various tests and exams. I am so sick and tired of it. Next week I go to the 2 surgeons that just did my latest surgery for the post-op exams. I know this is normal and understand that I had to go thru it , but it's been a very humiliating and demeaning experience to me.

so, what I'm saying is I don't want anyone near me, not even my husband! I just want to be left alone now. What should I do? Is this a normal way to feel? I don't know who to talk to about it.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:42 PM on Jan. 5, 2011 in Health

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Do you mean near you sexually? Of course it is normal! You need a break! Your husband should understand that you just want your bits and pieces left alone for a while. If you feel like that still several months from now, then it might become a problem for the husband and the marriage, but for the time being, he should be able to understand that you have been through A LOT, and he should respect your feelings. You need to feel like YOU are in control again, and when you do, I am sure you will get back into the swing of things with the husband.

    Answer by CarriePM at 11:46 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • hugs


    Answer by pookipoo at 11:43 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I've never had to experience that and I feel for you. I think it seems normal to have those emotions though.

    Answer by hotrodlassie at 11:44 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I felt that way for awhile after my c-section. I felt like words could not express how much pain I was in. Dh was very patient and understanding. He didn't even suggest anything until I did. You've been through a lot, your dh should understand.

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 11:46 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • I think it is normal. I would feel the same way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • yes its ok, take some time for yourself.

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 11:49 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Anyone would feel that way. You are not crazy. Just feeling a little bit beaten down. This too shall pass. Tobysmommy obviously hasn't had her privates exposed to a series of doctors to be poked and prodded. She should be more empathetic.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:08 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • it may help you to realize its normal to talk to your gyn about it. also with having a hysterectomy your hormone levels get all wonky. he may be able to recomend something to help regulate those and let you feel more like yourself again. but yes talk to him even if just for your ownpiece of mind

    Answer by treystiredmommy at 11:28 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • To tobys.mommy: the doctors didn't make me feel that way. They have been wonderful and understanding. One of them is my gyn and he delivered both of my kids who are now 24 and 20 yrs. old. It's the experience of having people (male and female) constantly putting their hands inside me that was humiliating. I'm a pretty modest person and you would think I'd be used to it at my age. But this whole experience has been very different. Should I talk to my gyn about it since I've know him such a long time?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:54 PM on Jan. 5, 2011

  • Yes I would talk to you GYN about it. Maybe there is another way that they can check or not have as many people checking. If they knew how much it bothered you I'm sure they would try to make it easier for you.

    Answer by tobys.mommy at 12:17 PM on Jan. 6, 2011