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Is it illegal for me to take my son out of the state he was born in, Idaho, without consent from the father (my boyfriend)?

Me and my boyfriend just recently had our three month old in September. We currently live in Idaho but my hometown is in Washington. We are not married. The other night, my boyfriend brought to my attention that if I decided to leave him (which has been a reaccuring thought) and take our son with me, then he would call the cops because it is illegal to take him out of the state he was born in without consent from the father (my boyfriend). Hopefully that question makes sense. We have been fighting so much lately and I just want to get out of here and go back home where it is a better environment for my son than here. I feel stuck here because of what my boyfriend said about him calling the cops on me. Please help...

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Asked by knw2425 at 12:29 AM on Jan. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (15 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • If you're feeling threatned by him, take your son and go back home. The only thing he can do is take you to court. Let him do that, that way you can get yourself a lawyer and you and baby can be safe. GL

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:31 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I'm sure it depends on state laws, but from what I have learned with friends' cases, unless there is a custody agreement, he can't do anything about it. But don't go by what I've seen with might be different for your state.

    Answer by -AJ at 12:32 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • if your not married and there isnt a costudy order then you can take your kid and leave all he will be able to do is take you to court. if he calls the cops all they will say is its a domestic issue that needs to be handled in court. You deserve to be happy and so does your son so if going back home is what you need then go for it honey. Im from washington to its a great place to be.

    Answer by Jaxsmommy09 at 12:37 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • In the state I live in, your boyfriend would be sadly mistaken to learn he's wrong. Is he just using this to control you?

    Best of luck and congrats on your little one :)

    Answer by AAAMama at 12:37 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • It depends on that state. In Wisconsin, I can take my son out of state for 30 days and my ex can't do anything about it. I can move within 300 miles in state without him being able to do anything. I have to notify him by registerd mail 60 days before moving out of state or farther than 300 miles in state. We were never married and I have sole custody. Talk to an attorny before moving because you could be charged with parental interference ..which is kidnapping and if you cross state lines it becomes a federal case.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:39 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Im not sure about the laws there but here its perfectly legal for you to take him and visa versa. He can take him and you cant do anything. I would just go and take you son. Thn file for full custody in Washington. Good Luck

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 12:42 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I no when my kids father took my daughter and i called the cops they said there wasnt anything i can do because he has equal rights and the police couldn't force him to give her back but at the same time if he wants to be apart of his child's life I would move out but be in the area because there isn't A lot of "boyfriends" with kids who want to be apart of there kids life you do not have to be with him but don't take his kid away... if he doesn't want to be apart of the child's life thats different but i would at least let him be a parent too :) good luck

    Answer by premiemom18 at 12:43 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • tyfry7496-
    Even if he does know it still could be considered as kidnapping? That's so sad... :( I am my son's mother and I just wan what is best for him and being here is not what is best. I wish I could just leave. I didn't know it could be this complicated :(

    Yes, he is trying to control me. He doesn't want to be away from his son but he could care less about me. He is gone for 6 hours during the day and doesn't help during the night with our son. I feel like I am a single mom because I take care of my LO all the time. I am not happy here and this environment isn't good for my LO to be in.

    Comment by knw2425 (original poster) at 12:44 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I always said if I had to I would find a way to leave and never let him find me. I got a nice big family that would help me hide.

    Answer by lstrickland at 12:49 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Premiemom18-
    I have given him many chances to be a father. That is all I ever wanted from him. I knew he could be a great father but does being a great father mean cussing in front of him? Telling me to F off and calling me names and throwing things at me and grabbing my arm? I don't want my son learning from his father that it's okay to treat women like that, let alone his mother! The last thing I wanted to do was to take him away from his Daddy but right now, I don't know what else to do. He hasn't shown he wants to truly be a dad. He hasn't had a job for 4 months, plays video games all day and complains every time I ask him to either watch or feed our LO. He doesn't help during the nights and the past couple days he has been gone all day either drinking with his friends or going to the casino while he leaves me and his son at home all alone or with his grandparents who we currently live with.

    Comment by knw2425 (original poster) at 12:50 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

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