There is NO way that you ever know 100% or even anything close. How could you know? My son was relinquished over 40 years ago, and I still don't know if it was best for him or not. Things ultimately worked out for him, but, I have no reason to believe that I could not have raised him well too. There are no guarantees in adoption; it is a huge gamble. A lot of luck is involved, as well as many other factors, that determine what kind of a person a child becomes.
I think a mom will feel more comfortable with her decision if she educates herself thoroughly before making any decision and explores all options to parent (and, if possible, tries to parent.). Otherwise, she may have deep regrets and wish she had at least tried. Even if adoption is necessary and best for a child, children handle adoption differently. For some, it is difficult and painful and others seem to take it in stride.
at 5:14 PM on Jan. 6, 2011