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3 Bumps

Can he do this?

I have a close friend who is divorced with 2 children. There is child support and visitation ordered but the father (her ex husband) rarely sees the children and the child support is only paid because it comes directly out of his check. She gets about $675 a month for the 2 children. Well, about a week ago, her ex called to say that his girlfriend is pregnant. They are living together and he said that between their bills and the child support he pays, they can't afford the baby. She works part time and they live in a 2 bedroom place. He asked if they could decide between the 2 of them to lower the child support. Now, she isn't some greedy person, she works full time and never asks him for a dime above the child support but she told him that she was sorry but she couldn't help him. She suggested that his girlfriend start working full time, as she does, instead of taking money from his children. She told him that it is not her children's fault that he is having a child he can't afford. Now he is saying that he is gonna take her to court over it. So basically, he is asking a judge to tell his ex wife that she has to help provide his share for the children because he is having another baby? I can't see a judge doing that, has anyone ever heard of this? Do you think it would be fair?


Asked by JLS2388 at 2:06 AM on Jan. 6, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 25 (25,280 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • The only way they would change the order is if his income changed. Having another family doesn't change the amount of support he pays, they don't take additional children into account.

    Answer by heatherann0221 at 9:13 PM on Jan. 22, 2011

  • I don't think it can be done. If he couldn't afford to pay he should have strapped up.

    Answer by nicjon at 2:10 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • He definitly needs to explain his new situation to a judge and let them come to a concensus of some sort. The Court still wants the kids supported while not putting the non-custodial parent in the poor house and putting his new family at risk. At least he spoke up and tried to communicate with her rather than just disappearing like so many people do.

    Answer by Zoeyis at 5:05 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • LOL he can take her to court aaaaalll day long, won't make a difference..just wast more money he "doesn't have" Not her fault he can't keep his pants up.

    Answer by salexander at 11:39 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • He can take her to court. He will win IF his income has been reduced for any reason.
    Personally he should keep his willy covered when he lets it out for a walk.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 11:43 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • The judge might tell his new baby momma to get a full time job if they can't afford the baby on the way. I can't see them lowering the support unless his income has changed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • If his income hasn't changed I doubt they will lower the amount. My husband pays child support for my stepdaughter (it also comes out of his paycheck - it has nothing to do with "the only way it gets paid", my husband chooses to have it done that way because so often if you do it any other way the system looses the check and/or something else goes wrong and the father gets told he owes back payment and may loose all forms of licenses - it is soooo much easier to have the employer deal with it) but I really don't think that a judge is going to care that this particular dad is having another baby, it is just another amount he will have to pay similar to a cell phone bill, a more expensive house, etc. Your friend should be fine. :)

    Answer by NessGuinness at 2:19 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I highly doubt a judge will rule in his favor on this one, and she should probably gently remind him that if he doesn't have the money to support his children, then he probably shouldn't be wasting anymore of it on taking her back to court. The other g/f should be working full time as well if they aren't able to afford the child, and as a previous poster said if his income hasn't changed then they aren't going to rule in his favor....just because you have more bills doesn't mean you get to pay less on the existing ones :) Good luck to your friend, he sounds like a super fun guy to deal with. Yuk.

    Answer by Heatherdm45 at 2:41 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • He can ask for a re-evaluation of child support due to his change in circumstances. Your friend may get her child support lowered a bit, or it may remain the same - it depends on your state. Some states absolutely won't reduce the amount of child support the "first children" receive, NJ is one that comes to mind.

    Answer by Scuba at 7:39 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • He can take her to court. What the judge will rule is not something I can answer. He is expecting a lot of his ex. imho

    Answer by zebbiebug at 9:01 AM on Jan. 6, 2011