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11 Bumps

Is anyone else at the end of their rope?? adult content

My son has just been beyond words. He has some sensory issues, which I know contribute to his behavior. We are learning to take care of those needs, and I do try to be more understanding with him. But, I'm at the end of my rope. The tantrums are horrible, he just won't talk (also something we're working with a specialist on) and I feel like he would just be better off if someone else were raising him.

It sounds horrible I know. I really hit rock bottom today when I couldn't figure out what he wanted, so he ran into his room and slammed the door. I thought I'd give him some time to cool down and when he got quiet I went in to talk to him. Instead of cooling down he'd taken his poop and smeared it all over. This is a common thing for us. It doesn't matter what I do or tell him. We've taped diapers on, begged him to use the potty, put them on backwards, rewards for not doing things like that, you name it. We rent an apartment and as of today his carpet is ruined. I scrubbed for hours and there is just no saving it.

I can't do this anymore. I can't. I cried for 2 hours today thinking of how we had to start all over again tomorrow. Someone else has to be at this point with me right? Are you here too? I need some support from like minded mamas!

 
toykeymama

Asked by toykeymama at 2:20 AM on Jan. 6, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 10 (384 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • Have him evaluated by your local School District Early intervention program and get him enrolled in Day Care or Head Start program. If he qualifies, it should be free or low cost. Find every program that offers services you can use and use them, every one of them. I have a special needs child and being home with him all day, every day after day after day is rough. Dont be afraid to ask for help. You must get time for you or you'll burn out and then things can get very ugly. Also at day care he'll get more services and trained staff to help teach him and you how to handle his issues.
    livn4laundry

    Answer by livn4laundry at 12:27 AM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • im so there with u honey. i was going to lock myself in the bathroom yesturday b/c my 5 yr old needs to go live somewhere else. its a long store, but people lied when they said it gets better...........this morning, is not any better................
    mama2bof2

    Answer by mama2bof2 at 7:01 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • He wont be better off with someone else raising him. You don't give up on your child no matter what. I know its difficult...maybe you can get some extra help so you can have a break now and then. You don't want someone else taking over-they may not be as patient with him and something disastrous could happen.

    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 2:57 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Hugs to you. I have a stepson with autism, and we've had some pretty rough days. Is there a local support group you can call? In Ohio there's a "Helping me to grow" program, which helps families with all kinds of issues - it's free through the state. I know you're doing the best you can.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 7:49 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • My heart goes to you. Just take it one moment at the time -- and take a break. Do you have somewhere you can take him to give yourself a break?
    Camilletnt

    Answer by Camilletnt at 7:58 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I have been so blessed. I have two healthy and happy kids. Yet there were days when I was at the end of my rope too. You are a strong, wonderful mother and no one would do as well as you do with your baby. Just know that one day, not in the near future, but one day, you will look back on these days and laugh and miss them. I know that is hard to believe, but its true. Do make sure you give yourself a break, even for an hour. I hope you have someone you trust enough to leave him with. Good luck
    parajumper3

    Answer by parajumper3 at 8:41 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • i'm sorry mama. But trust me, IT DOES GET BETTER, and NO it WON'T happen over night, it happens over time w/ love, patience, care and understanding of one another. Sounds like he needs a behavorial specialist...you can find those through your insurance. They really work, and they give you a little time to yourself, because they come to your house!!! (sometimes they make u work w/ them depending on the exercise) it brings you and the child closer. don't give up on ur own. it's not worth it. you love that little man with all your heart, he may be like a little diablo (devil in spanish) but one day, things will be better. He needs to be evaluated, from his doctor, smearing feces on the carpet/wall or w/e it was isn't a normal behavior, maybe he needs medicine to help control his anger? I'm not sure how old he is. well i'm running out of charac. left 2 type lol ... GOODLUCK And i will pray for you and yours!
    knicole0708

    Answer by knicole0708 at 10:14 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Big Hugs!!

    It is so incredibly hard to raise a very intelligent speech delayed child. I've been there. At 2.5 my son had the verbal ability of a 12 month old but understood everything at the level of a kindergartener. He did the tantrums, yelling, screaming, kicking me in the shins. The best thing I could do for him was constantly say, "I am sorry that mommy cannot figure out what you want" in the absolutely calmest, quietest voice possible. He really began to get verbal around 3, after 6 months of speech therapy.

    Today that child is turning 13 and an honor student. He's been in the newspaper 3 times this school year for projects or science fair, etc. There are still times that I would like to give him away. But it has gotten easier in general.

    Look into a daycare/pre-school for just a bit of time away from each other. It might just help.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 10:14 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I would look and look and look for programs that he can attend for help...and to give you a much needed break. I don't think it is fair to ask a parent to do this alone. Call his doctor, the welfare dept, social security...keep asking questions until someone helps you. Do you have a local mental health board...call them.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:17 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • look into your local arc. a lot of them have play groups or respite care to give you a break. and a lot of times they cover you for free. the arc i work at has a play group every saturday from 9-1 (free) and they offer respite care anytime day or night you just need to give them notice. that is based on you income. take a break. go do something for yourself and relax. yes its extremely frustrating but you can make it through. i promise.
    treystiredmommy

    Answer by treystiredmommy at 11:04 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

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