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I need self esteem please!!!!!

I was in an abusive relationship for about 2 years and alot of damage was done to my self-esteem as a result. How do you regain self-esteem about yourself? I don't want to always worry about what people think of me anymore. It has taken a big toll on me as a person and a wife and parent.I just want to be confident and happy like I used to be and I don't know how to get that back.My husband thinks I need to see a profesional about this but I don't really know what they could do to help. What do you all think. Any advice would be great. Thank you

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:39 PM on Nov. 11, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Rather than ask a question of this nature on a site of this nature, I would do what your husband says and seek professional counseling. We cannot make you feel different about yourself.. You have to do that yourself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:42 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • Talk to people! Anyone, a professional, close friends, and/or family. Always be open and honest. I'm not sure what your morning routien is, but put a note on your mirrow that says something like "today will be a good day, I will smile, it won't be fake, and I WILL feel good!!" Do anything to make yourself "beautiful" whether it's putting on make-up every morning, or buying a new outfit, or getting your nails done. Just something for you. Good luck!! If you ever want to talk you can PM anytime!!

    Answer by AnnHenderson at 6:43 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • Take martial arts instruction. It builds your strength, dexterity, co-ordination, concentration and has so many other benefits for mental and physical well-being.


    Answer by runawaybunny at 6:59 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • If you don't want to seek counseling for yourself, I completely understand that. I've been there and it didn't ever help me. What did help me was journaling like crazy. I know it sounds kiddish, but it's so not. You just sit down and pour out your brain on paper or even on your computer in a word document. Do it over and over and over again. Get out what you need to and it will help. If you want to talk to someone, please message me.

    Answer by feesharose at 7:11 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • I was inan abusive relationship too for 5 yrs and it takestime to gain your self esteem back,I have agreat man and am very happy,stop beating yourself up because of how your ex treated you.take a good look at yourself in the mirror and tel yourself that you got out of the relationship and you are beautiful and smart and you are a nice person and also doing something for yourself is a self esteem booster have your hair done go on a shooping spree buy something nice for yourself.good luck.

    Answer by geenabelle at 7:12 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • The fact that you are no longer in that abusive relationship should help some. Look at all the support you got when you got away from him! You discovered you WERE loved after all! I know when it happened to me, I was amazed at all the support that literally came out of the woodwork. runawaybunny has a good idea. I'm doing the same thing now myself WITH my kids, and it's helping. It will also give you fighting skills if your ex comes after you in the future.

    It's been about two and a half years since I got out of my situation. I'm still working on my self esteem too, but I'm slowly but surely getting back to the person I was when I was 18. Feel free to pm me if you want to talk to someone who has been there.

    Answer by rhope4 at 7:13 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • what is it exactly that you are insecure about? your looks? what you've done with your life? I think if you were more specific I might be able to help you some. feel free to message me if you'd like, and just remember that there are no ugly people, its just how you take care of yourself to enhance the beauty that God gave you. also give yourself something to be proud of yourself for. accomplish the things you want to in life.

    Answer by punkrockmom153 at 2:24 PM on Jan. 27, 2009

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