Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Would you be offended?

I have a friend with a 6 week old baby who could be going through some PPD symptoms or just simply having a hard time with lack of sleep with an infant. I am trying to be there for her as much as I can - I went and visited her on my lunch yesterday and she was all tears and so upset and so tired... my mom was the biggest help to my when my son was born and colic 14 hours a day - She knows my mom and my mom heartfully offered for her to go to her house and watch the baby so she could at least get some solid sleep - I called her and told her this last night and said I am just throwing it out there as an option etc..she wont' return my call today - so either she IS resting but I don't know if she got upset by the offer...

 
maxsmom11807

Asked by maxsmom11807 at 10:48 AM on Jan. 6, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 29 (40,703 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • It could be any of the possibilities presented above. Really, it could be so many things, but nothing you did was out of line at all. I know your heart is in the right place, but she just may not be ready to accept any help (some of us are stubborn like that sometimes). If she's not also really close to your mom, she might not be able to relax handing her baby over to your mom and she doesn't know how to say that without hurting your feelings. Maybe try stopping by again and asking her if she wants to take a nap or a shower while you are there (she might feel more comfortable with you), or maybe leave your son with your mom and take her some dinner one night. I know outside my mom coming to help, people bringing us dinner was the thing I appreciated more than anything else.

    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 11:32 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • No, don't be offended, she might be depressed, or hopefully she is just sleeping and will call later. Your offer was a nice thing and done for the right reasons. Just be patient and supportive and understanding especially if she is on a hormonal roller coaster.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 10:52 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Look stop asking, when you can visit her tell her go rest. Maybe she feels she don't want to inconvience anyone, maybe she feels the daddy should help her with that, who knows.... but don't ask insist, call her ask what she is doing and do what you have too do. she might be upset but at least she gets a few rest hours.

    That you want to spend time with the baby... Tell her take a nap, and you love her and you INSIST she take a nap....

    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:54 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Y would she get upset by the offer? I would have been grateful!!! Y don't u call your mom and see if the baby is there,then u will know part of it.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 10:51 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I wouldn't be Im about to come visit your mom lol
    No I think it was a sweet offer and if she is mad she'll see the kindness in your offer when things calm down for her she might be tired to realize your offer was sensere
    raisingmen

    Answer by raisingmen at 10:52 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • i wouldn't be offended by the offer and i don't think your friend is either. perhaps she's being too "proud" and doesn't want to accept the help, or maybe she is resting like you said. that was very nice of you & your mom to try to help her out, we all know how rough those first few weeks can be!
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 10:52 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • If it were me I would not be offended, I would be very grateful to have friends who cared about me (and baby) and wanted to help me out.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:52 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • She may or may not be offended. Or maybe just feeling ashamed. PPD is so tough. I had a really bad case with PP psychosis. I wouldn't admit it out loud for 8 months. But you offered, so she knows it's there for the taking. Unfortunately, there isn't so much else you can do. You might gently ask her dh or so (if there is one) how he thinks she's doing. Tell him about your mother's generous offer and then just continue to be a friend.
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 10:53 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • No, i would not be offended at all. For all you know, she could still be pondering it & has not made a decision yet. Some new moms feel guilty about leaving their new born with someone else while they rest, so she just may be weighing the options before she makes a choice. She is emotional, just leave her be & definitely don't take offense.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:58 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Is she a first time mommy? She may be feeling guilt for not being able to be supermom. First time mommies have a hard transition. I would not be offended if I were you. You are a good friend. She knows you care. She is emotionally and physically drained.

    zebbiebug

    Answer by zebbiebug at 11:00 AM on Jan. 6, 2011

Next question in General Parenting
Difference?

Next question overall (About CafeMom)
Thanks SOOOOO MUCH!!!!

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN