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What is a Mom to do when son chooses to live with other parent?

My son turns 10 in a few weeks. After the last visit at Christmas break he and his Dad were scamming for my son to go live with him permanently after summer vacation. My son came home from Christmas break, told me that he wanted to live with Dad. He's a very oppositional child and has expressed alot of anger and physical outrages in my home. He has been in counseling but none of it seems to have helped (much). I decided to let him go live with Dad in another state. I know this isn't the best situation. But I had to let him go. I now have guilt and feel as if I am very disposable that he would choose to go live in a less than "good" situation. Does anyone have any advice to help me through this process? He will be living 90% of the time with his grandparents because of Dad's work just doesn't seem healthy to me.

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Asked by disposablemom at 12:20 PM on Jan. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (2)
  • I think as hard as it is you need to let him go for now. I would make sure you call him every day and let him know you are still there for him if he needs you. It is not the ideal situation although in the long run you may find that it brings you closer together with him. You could talk with him about why he wants to live with his dad and see what he says. I would also talk to his therapist to see what their thoughts are. If he is in therapy now he may need to continue that when he moves.

    Good Luck!

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 12:27 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Maybe letting him see for himself it's not always greener on the other side is the best answer. Then he will decide to come back. It sounds like in this situation, keeping him there with you is not the answer. Good luck!!!

    Answer by arenad at 12:35 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

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