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Why would BM send the kids with beat up clothing on dads custodial days if she is getting child support and dads also buying nice clothing? just curios.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Jan. 6, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (22)
  • Because she either uses the money for herself, and possibly sells the good clothes (we think SS's BM did this stuff) and/or she wants Dad to feel guilty that her kids look like little beggars (DH says his mom used to pull this crap when he went to his father's.)

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Unfortunately, she is probably just trying to be a bitch and get him to buy more clothes.

    Answer by christy_lvr at 12:36 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • shes bitter and wants to hurt him by saying things like 'oh i dont want you to steal these nice clothes and keep them here'

    he should just buy his own clothes for his house then it wont seem so bad

    Answer by pookipoo at 12:37 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Ask her why. I have the opposite problem. My son is living with his dad and me and my husband have spent around $600 in the last 3 months on clothes for my son. We have bought new clothes from socks, jeans, shirts, shoes, jackets, underwear, hats, mittens etc. We also buy all the school supplies, and anything extra he needs. Yet every weekend my son comes in ripped up pants. I finally asked my ex what his problem was. I said if he couldnt take care of our son then Id come on up and bring him home.

    Answer by gemgem at 12:37 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Are you all keeping the things she buys accidentally? I have this problem. My ex's wife "forgets" which clothes I've sent my daughter in and always sends my kid home in her kids beat to crap clothes, then I see her kid in my kid's nice things.

    Answer by lovinangels at 12:38 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I know exactly why.

    Because she doesn't want her "good clothes" to be lost at dads house. I do I know that if my DD goes to her dad's house in her nice clothes i buy her, he'll either keep them & send her back in crappy clothes, or they get lost. I like to dress my child nicely & get really pissed when her clothes do not come back home. SO, i went to a thrift store & bought a bunch of used crappy clothes to send her to her dads in. He has clothes that he buys for her, he can change her when she gets there. I'm sick of buying nice new clothes, just so that they get lost at dads. That is why i do it... Not sure if she does it for the same reason though....

    Answer by samurai_chica at 12:41 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • It could be that she wants to keep the good clothes looking nice and is thinking that potential stains could set in before she gets them back. I don't know that's what she's thinking, but I know I don't send my kids to daycare in their best clothes for that reason. Maybe buy some nice outfits to keep at your home for the child to use while he/she is staying with you, and then send them back home in the beat up clothing.


    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 12:42 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I did it because, invariably, if I sent the kids to their dad's with the clothes *I* bought, they NEVER came back! What did came back, came back stained, torn, mis-washed (whites mixed with colors) or with parts missing (like socks). A couple times, they were stuffed back in the suitcase still damp from the laundry and mildewed on the 10 hour drive home.

    I got tired of seeing their brand new school clothes ruined time after time, so I asked what activities they did at their dad's. They said they played outside sometimes, but mostly sat at home and played video games or watched TV. So I started sending play clothes with them instead.

    BTW, my ex's new wife hates me & the kids, so I suspect she wasn't all that careful with their laundry. The kids have told me she screams at them, hits them on the head and calls them names. She thinks because they don't speak Spanish, they won't understand, but they tell me and I do.

    Answer by geminilove at 12:42 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • This is just my experience but anything that I'd like to keep I don't send to his dad's. I put him in older clothing knowing I won't get it back and won't care. Dad can change him when he gets there if he wants and hopefully he'll send him back in the same old clothes so I don't have to hear about how I'm stealing all of the good clothes.

    Answer by skittles1108 at 12:48 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • we used to take care of mu neice a lot during the summer since her BD is in Cali and we are all in Ga. Her Mom would send her to us with no socks, underwear or tennis shoes, only flip flops. Why? She wanted us to buy her new ones. She knew we would. We caught on to this and started keeping those things at our house and only sending them home when they were close to being out grown. It couls be she wan't new things. It could be she wants to ensure her good things don't get gone. Either way I would just make sure to have your own stash at your house.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 12:50 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

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