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Should I JUST DATE my ex ?

four years ago I picked up a man at the bar for a one night stand, I didn't think it would be anything else--(no bashing), well he never left we had good times and bad times and all that, well he started drinking again this fall, every fall he would go off the deep end. This time I told him if he did it he it again I would have him thrown out by the police. So a week before halloween I did, and he went to a rehab and has been there 30 days he has 15 more days to go and then he is going to a halfway house. We spoke on the phone for the first time last night, should I get the restraining order lifted and just date him, and see what happens? We have never just dated, I think it would be fun. Do you think so, or not really, we has always really good to me when he was not drinking, I miss him.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Jan. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I don't think you should just lift the restrainging order and then go into dating him. you both need to work on yourself, and he needs to ork on him for his own safety and for the safety of yall's relationship, and ur child. AFter that, slowly work ur way into being a couple, as long as the cards play out right.

    best of luck to you
    knicole0708

    Answer by knicole0708 at 12:44 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I was thinking about lifting the restraining order otherwise, we can not be seen together, and how are we going to date, if we can't go anywhere together?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:46 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Well there was a reason you had a restraining order. He needs to get his life together before you even think about getting back into that whatever you want to call it.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 12:47 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I meant lift it, if you feel your life is not in danger, then proceed w/ what I said LOL! =) sorry for confusion. But if you put the RO on him for reasons of fear for ur well being/life, why take it off? i know a friend who put a RO on her ex just because her new bf said if she didnt he would break up w/ her, so sometimes its dumb reasons to put one on someone
    knicole0708

    Answer by knicole0708 at 12:49 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Simple: He was an ex for a reason.. I learned my lesson at that!
    KayGia0704

    Answer by KayGia0704 at 12:50 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I don't know if it's a great idea to start dating again so soon. I don't know much about this type of situation, but it seems to me that it could potentially lead to him slipping back into drinking. I'd let him get better before you start dating again.
    MeandMyBabes

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 12:51 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • From experience. It is not a good idea to lift the order just yet! I know your hormones are racing and you probably had a wonderful conversation on the phone, but you have to think about the past and if a child is involved they have been affected by the violence before.

    When it comes to addictions this person has so much to deal with. You where together, and it didn't help the situation.
    "Abscents will always make the heart grow founder", but you can't make a descision like this just because things look great NOW!
    Please take it slow. talk on the phone and give him all the support he needs, but keep your distance.

    Rehab is not a cure and it will be a struggle for the rest of his life. Let him take care of himself for about 6 months to a year.
    Sounds like you really care about him. maybe lift the order 3 to 6month after he finds a place to stay (not depending on you), get a job etc... give Yourself sometime to see if
    1happyeverafter

    Answer by 1happyeverafter at 1:53 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • ......he can take care of himself. "Patience is a virtue".
    1happyeverafter

    Answer by 1happyeverafter at 1:56 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Well I told him that he had to get a job, and his own place and be sober a year, before we get serious again, and we would never live together again, we would always have to keep our seperate places. I never want to live with anyone ever again
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:15 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

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