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so hubby cheated on me for about a year (online cheating) chatting wit girls telling them they r hot so on..ect ect..well im really trying to get over it new year n all i found out about 2 months ago but it still really hurts. not only cuz he did that but b/cuz he was tellin some random chick that he loved her..he made up a name so the chick didnt really know it was him at all. but still hurts. well he says u found out 2 months ago its not like u jst found out yesterday. :( my question is if i dont get over it soon am i pushing him away from me??? or how do i make him understand that it takes time..but i do wanna trust him again some day.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Jan. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • You take all the time you need to get over it. He's being a jerk about it.

    Answer by CraftingMama at 2:04 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Two months isn't very long to get over something like that. He needs to let you be angry, and work toward gaining your trust back. Does he understand that he was wrong, how much it hurt you? If he does, than he will understand that it's going to take time for you to heal. At the same time, you have to remember to not bring this up when you get into arguments - that is the past, and you have to look forward.

    Answer by Scuba at 2:05 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Tell him he lost your trust when he cheated. That you might trust him again, but it won't be overnight. I would tell him he brought this on himself. He needs to be patient enough for you to gain trust again. If he can't do that you might want to just end it now. That's just my opinion.

    Answer by arenad at 2:07 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I agree with arenad, he needs to show that he isn't going to ever do it again and that he is in fact really sorry for it. He should be patient and let you take your time to heal if he really cares. If he doesn't then it shows that he probably isn't really sorry and you should give him the boot. Sorry you are going through this.

    Answer by SaraR216 at 2:17 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Y is he even doing that? Did u ask him?

    Answer by dancer at 2:23 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • he said hes addicted..n that it ddnt mean anything that he really doesnt feel that way about her..he called it roll playing :( but swears up n down tht he will never do it again..b/cuz he doesnt wanna lose me or our 3 kids.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:32 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Excuses are like assholes (pardon the language) wihtout out trust and let me tell you... YOU PROBABLY WILL NEVER TRUST HIM AGAIN.. there is no real relationship.. this guy is an asshole and is probably lying to you.. if he does this crap online what do you think he does behind your back? I am really sorry about being brutally honest it just makes me sooooo mad to see good women treated that way you have been.. You are better than that and could have a man that loved you and only you.. not some jerk who is "addicted" to online affairs and possibly more.. He is a very selfish, self serving ass who needs to be left in the dust!

    Answer by BobbieJo286 at 10:36 AM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • realize that talking on the internet to other woman,may be cheating to you but to men these days its just good fun for them.Now hold on It makes me sick too,but you have to see both sides.Forgiveness is hard.Feeling used and not appreciated is hard too.Give yourself time.Do not let hate eat you up.It will if you let it.Ask him how he would feel if he found you had a so online????Talking is a great relief and the only way to get rid of this problem is turn the damn thing off!!Just as many ladies have online affairs as men do.Sad to be happy they have to play stupid games.

    Answer by grismelda at 12:02 AM on Jan. 10, 2011

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