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2 Bumps

How do you get an annoying MIL to leave you alone?

DH has told his mother he cannot talk on the phone when he's at work. It is against regulations. However, she constantly calls his phone while he's at work asking for favors, money or whatever. Then she calls me when he doesn't answer. Most of the time, if I answer the phone, I don't even know what she's talking about. I'm not going to answer for DH. I end up having to tell her AGAIN, that she'll have to wait til he gets home to ask him. Today she's called twice and I haven't answered. I know for a fact that DH already told her our computer is down and we can't print out whatever it is that she wants. I'm tired of her calling me when she is really needing to talk to DH. No, we do not get along. The only time she calls is when she wants some thing and I don't want to talk to her. She's very conniving and I don't want to be suckered into agreeing to some thing DH has already said no to. Another thing is that if DH is home and doesn't answer after several calls, she just shows up. It's never an emergency. We don't have the kind of relationship with her where we are comfortable with her just showing up, because it's always about her wanting some thing. Is there a way to politely get through to her that #1 I'm not answering for DH and #2 it's not cool to just show up?


Asked by Mrs.B3 at 3:56 PM on Jan. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (3,196 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • How upset is your DH about this? because it is his mom - he is the one who need to set her straight... sounds like you are really going to have to upset her to bring her back to reality... in whatever way your dh wants he need to tell her - she is an adult who gave birth to him - children do not ask to be born and he does not need to support her and he does not OWE her support. that her level of intrusion in your life is not acceptable and she is going to ruin the relationship if she doesnt change.... outline exactly what she is allowed to do - call when he is home between certain hours. how many times or messages are acceptable on a given day. that you do not want any uninvited guests and you (both of you) will not answer the door if someone just stops by.... and you might have to give her the ultimatum that if she continues to bother the both of you.... that she is going to be cut off from the family....

    Answer by AmaliaD at 3:35 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • I agree to just stop answering the phone and the door and hope she gets the point. If she can't get what she wants hopefully she'll give up. Maybe the next time she drops by DH should answer the door half dressed so she thinks she has interrupted your romantic time- I'm pretty sure that would scare off my MIL from ever dropping in again. :)

    Answer by MaryMW at 4:02 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Don't answer the door LOL. My FIL is a PERVERT. He would stop by the house right after I gave birth knowing my husband wasn't home. I NEVER let him in. I hate him.

    Answer by Misteh at 3:58 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Don't answer her calls, and tell your DH that she called when he gets home, he'll have to call her back. DH will eventually get sick of the "work" involved. Otherwise, don't answer your door. You're lucky you're both on the same page about his mother, that is usually something that divides some couples. Good luck. She sounds irritating!

    Answer by amybaby_19 at 4:00 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • We utilize our caller ID, when she calls I don't answer. My hubby can (but doesn't like to) take calls at work and she will call here all day long with questions that she needs to ask him and I either don't know or really don't care. I get the whole "give me stuff" thing too, she threw such a fit that my husband ended up giving his Jeep to my BIL because she was mad that he was using her truck (even though she said he could). She is always asking for money and then giving it to her other kids and coming back for more. My husband promised his dad (who he was really close to) he would look after his mom when his dad was gone, so now for him it's a guilt thing, and she knows it. Like I said, I don't answer her calls and I don't encourage visits, I would be perfectly happy if she was out of our lives for good.


    Answer by scout_mom at 4:43 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Man, they won't leave! MIL and her man were banging on the door and windows at 7am on a Saturday because they wanted DH to GIVE them some thing he had for sale once.

    Comment by Mrs.B3 (original poster) at 3:59 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Just tell her you arent going to do anything for her unless your DH is home from work and agrees. Tell her again DH cannot get calls at work and so he is not going to answer your calls when you call. I am not going to answer your calls when you call and he is at work. If you keep on Ill change both our phone numbers so you can get the hint. Sometimes you have to just spell it out for someone like that.

    Answer by gemgem at 4:02 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Oh we're on the same page that she's a pain in the butt. Yet he won't say any thing to HER about it. He likes to complain to me, his brother, sister, etc. He doesn't want to "start any thing" and would rather let her drive him crazy. It makes no sense to me. LOL

    Comment by Mrs.B3 (original poster) at 4:03 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • no

    Answer by jagrus at 3:21 PM on Jan. 8, 2011

  • First you find a good place to hide the body ;)

    Just flat out ignore her. It sounds like you have tried being polite and its not working

    Answer by Charis76 at 3:23 PM on Jan. 8, 2011