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Anyone's parents disappointed in your childs gender?

My mom is great and I know loves my son, but, he's the only boy that she has ever been around. She only raised girls and she had foster children that were mostly girls that stayed with us the longest. Well she was well, shocked to find out I was having a boy.. she said she wasn't sure what she was going to do.. Sometimes still I feel like she's disappointed I had a boy because he's full on active and has those aggressive moments and just does what I think is normal KID things but she always refers to them as BOY things as if its bad.. I'm 32 and happily married so Its not like it affects me that much but I guess the comments feel more like they are negative against him being a boy. She even made a comment Last night when he lol... licked his papi's shirt after eating..lol.. ok gross and I made him wipe it off and apologize but he was just being goofy and silly.. she looked at me and said "Oh , you should have had a girl" and it seems like every other time we are there, she makes a comment..

 
maxsmom11807

Asked by maxsmom11807 at 4:59 PM on Jan. 6, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 29 (40,703 Credits)
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Answers (7)
  • Gosh, you think she'd be thrilled to finally have a boy around. My in-laws were asking for a granddaughter well before I was ever pregnant and my parents have 6 grandkids, so either gender was welcomed. Now my in-laws want a boy, so they would have been pleased either way.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 8:07 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I was disappointed to find out I was having a girl, but I am not actually disappointed with the fact that she is a girl. I just had gotten my hopes up since this pregnancy was 100% the OPPOSITE of both my two older girls that when the doctor said it is another girl, I won't denie that I was disappointed. Not to mention I know my mom wants a grandson (she always wanted a son) and my fiance was hoping for a boy (he has two boys from a previous marriage but we only see them three times a year).
    Momma_Forever

    Answer by Momma_Forever at 5:02 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • you should tell her how you feel. and that the comments are not really appropriate. but my father wanted a boy but yet he is totally in love with his granddaughter. he does everything for her. so in a sense both my parents wanted a boy but they got use to the girl. but then again they had a daughter so they know already. but really think that being disappointed is natural. i wanted a girl and i would of been disapponted with a boy but i am use to boys so it would be good too. good luck and in your ur little boy.
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 5:13 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I'm thrilled that both of our children were girls, but I don't think I would have loved a boy any less.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 6:05 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • You could not control the gender of your child. And you can't control your moms thoughts or feelings. But you do have some say in how she expresses that around your child. Acknowledge that she would have liked another little girl in the family, you respect her thoughts and feelings (even if you don't agree or really respect it - just say it to be graceful and not cause drama), and then firmly say no comments about gender in front of our boy. Explain he had no control over the universe, you know she loves him, and you don't want him to get mixed messages that his family thinks he is out of place. Your mom is entitled to her thoughts and opinions. She is not entitled to hurt your son's feelings. 

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 6:09 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • We have one boy and two girls. My ILs definitely made a much bigger deal over the boy than over the girls. However, it seems to have turned around because they now seem to favour the youngest (who happens to be a girl) over the other two. I wish they could just treat them equally instead of constantly treating one better than the other two.
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 6:27 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I would tell her she needs to stop with those comments. Eventually he's going to catch on and how do you think that's going to make him feel?
    Christina807

    Answer by Christina807 at 9:55 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

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