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4 Bumps

my daughter had another surgery today......it went great, thank God, but got news I didn't want to receive.

She will be 5 in a few months... has had lifelong issues w/ going to the bathroom that the doctors constantly blew off and simply looked at me as a young mom and said she was constipated. took her at least 20 times, and they gave me the same answer, took her to different doctors, and they only put her on laxatives. finally got in w/ a surgeon that believed me when i said something was not right, & she has had many surgeries to correct her "anal stenosis" that she was BORN with, and the pedi missed it at birth, and all her check ups, and all her visits i took her in specifically for this problem for. she now has anal stenosis all over again, where scar tissue built back up, and she needs to have another surgery to open her bottom up more. been on tons of medicine, tons of dilitations at home which have been awful, tons of enemas, dieting, and so much pain with trying to go potty. so here we are... almost 5 years later.......................the new surgeon today just told us she will need to have part of her colon removed because it has been so stretched out and will never work. i am sick over the fact that because the doctors missed this, she is having to have a 4 hour procedure and be put through this. has to stay in the hospital up to two weeks after...........& i will be having another child in march.

my question is...........what do you do when you really feel like you've hit rock bottom? my nerves are shot, i am constantly ill thinking about this, the risks, the pain, the horrible times that lay ahead.. trying to decide to do this before the baby so i dont have to leave a newborn for so many days, or after the baby is born, try to stay healthy in my pregnancy, take care of my 1 year old, not let my soon to be 5 year old see me cry, not let the internet scare me of colostomy issues and surgeries, feel like im always doing things alone since my husband is a cop who works ridiculous hours and is never home, dealing with court from child support when i dont even care about money, but the state requires me to always attend, trying to stay positive, trying to deal with so many people telling me to talk to a lawyer about sue'ing my childs pediatritians, ugh...................
how do you not break down? I havent yet, and I am a firm believer in God, which is getting me through this, but I just want my child to be healthy and happy........& the road ahead is scaring me to death where I want to crawl in a hole.

What are ways to keep YOU happy? thanks

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on Jan. 6, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • I just wanted to let you know that my prayers will be with you and your child.
    INmommyof1

    Answer by INmommyof1 at 6:01 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • It is normal to feel overwhelmed. The thing is that you will get through this. You must stay strong for your little ones, and you can and will do it. Be very careful to eat a balanced diet, to get plenty of rest, to take a few minutes at least every day to sit and relax or read or some other activity that you enjoy, talk to friends every day. You are right to think that you need to take care of yourself, too.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 6:02 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I am so sorry. I vent to my friends, talk until I'm blue in the face and feel better. I'm a talker and have to process verbally. I need sounding boards. I am very sorry and my thoughts are with you and your child.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 6:04 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • if you need to break down, then / by all means do it. it's not going to make you a weak person or make anyones view of you any different,..if it were me and my dd, i would've broken down a long time ago. i'm so sorry you're having to go through this with your little one. have you looked into support groups for this specific issue? i wish you and your family the best of luck getting through this hard time.
    mom_to_kenzie

    Answer by mom_to_kenzie at 6:09 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I am sorry you are going through all the is. I am sorry your daughter is going through this. Your family is in my prayers. (((hugs)))
    Snewo

    Answer by Snewo at 6:23 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Make sure to ask for support, from the doctors, hospital staff, friends and family. Don't take everything on your shoulders alone. Ask for help with meals when the new baby comes and any help you need while your daughter is in the hospital.
    I hope the surgery is a success and I am sorry she has been put through this. ((hugs))
    parrishsky

    Answer by parrishsky at 6:25 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • You need to let it out. Have a good cry in the shower. Beat the stuffing out of your pillow. Allow yourself to release and you will feel much better. You deserve to let it all out. Shame on the doctors for not listening to you over the years. I will be keeping you and your daughter in my thoughts.

    zebbiebug

    Answer by zebbiebug at 6:35 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • With a son that has been through 18 brain surgeries,2 Ulcerative Colitis major surgeries and 3 more surgeries due to complications from the Ulcerative Colitis. I can fully relate to you. My advice to you would be to take one day at a time. Try not to stress too much. You will find yourself crying at times but it will only make you stronger. You will get through this and so will your child. I wish you and your family the best and as for doctors I have had my share of misdiagnosis they are wrong so many times you would be surprised. I have been through it all with my son!
    Darla47

    Answer by Darla47 at 7:23 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Oh honey, my heart is aching for you and your daughter right now. I cannot possibly imagine how I would react in the same situation. I do know this, sometimes a good cry is good for the soul. If your daughter discovers you crying, be honest, tell her that your heart is hurting because you can't fix it and make it all go away for her. Stay strong in your faith. Is there a pastor or someone that you can go talk to? You need some support, especially with your husband being gone so much. It might be good to talk it out, sort of like you did here. Hang in there, you are a woman, so you are stronger than you know!
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 9:16 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • thank you all, & thanks for keeping her in your prayers, xoxox
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:06 PM on Jan. 9, 2011

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