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critizing other moms

I think that at least 99% of us would agree that unless a child is being mistreated one mother shouldn't critize how another mother choses to raise her child. Why then, do many SM feel they have the right to critize their husbands ex/mother of their children. I bring this up because 1. I see a lot of SM critizing the moms on here (clothing, disipline, child care ect) and 2. because I am experiencing it in my own life. My parents are getting divorced and my dad's girlfriend constantly critizes what my mom does with my brother (he is 11, a lot younger then me, I was almost 12 when he was born lol) For example, my brother has always worn boxers and a t-shirt to bed, now my brother comes home from dad's house saying "sarah asked why mom doesn't buy me decent PJs?' I guess my question is, do you feel that a SM has the right to critize how the mom raises the children (providing they are not being mistreated)? I mean, yes they are her step kids, but they are the mother's children, shouldn''t she decide what is best?

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Asked by JLS2388 at 8:42 PM on Jan. 6, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 25 (25,280 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I agree. I just think that some stepmoms don't know what else to do. She tries to move her way in permanently. I have a friend who married a guy with kids and talk ed trash about the mom for stripping.
    Well she used the money to become a phlebotomist and now has not stripped since earning her Rn license. And my friend just sits at home complaining how this woman is terrible.

    Answer by idaspida at 8:46 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Well, I think that if she is in an active roll as a mother figure, then she should act like one. That means respecting said child's mother.
    As for criticism? Well, I like to raise my kids as I see fit, so I try to give others the same respect.

    Answer by SpaceToast at 8:47 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I think the problem is that everyone has a different idea of what "mistreatment" is. You might mean being starved, beaten or something like that but to another person allowing them TV all day is mistreatment or allowing them to play outside unsupervised) is mistreatment (which I don't agree with and my kids spend all day outside playing without me. "Mistreatment" is subjective.
    I have no comment on the step-parent problem. I've never had a step-parent and I've never been one. Sorry.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 8:50 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I buy my kids pj's but its their choice to sleep in their undies. She needs to back off and let your mom do what she does best, being a mother to you and your brother.

    Answer by aheuszel at 8:52 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Well my mom used to buy him PJs but he never wore them so it was just a waste of money. Oh and btw my dad's girlfriends kids live with their dad and she only sees them EOW so I think she needs to rethink before questioning another mother lol

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 8:55 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I agree that she shouldn't be criticizing, that's destructive and indicative of her insecurity. Her bf (your dad) hasn't married her, but he did marry your mom and have kids with her, so maybe that's it. Maybe you should have a conversation with your dad about reigning her in on that. You could also use this as a moment to teach your little brother how to stand up for himself and ultimately his mom. I'm sure he'll have to do it in the future if she stays around. Granted, at 11, he shouldn't have to be doing that with an adult, but maybe he's just more mature than she is. LOL I would have told him next time to say something like "Because I LIKE sleeping in boxers and a t-shirt," or whatever suits the particular situation.

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 9:00 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Did it all the time with DH step kids....there mother was and is still and absolute idiot.
    She had absolutely no damn common sense and worried more about her men than her yeah im gonna criticize her for jack assing up her

    Answer by Sandyr911 at 10:47 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

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