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would you feel more comfortable going to your church pastor with your marital problems or seek counseling elsewhere?

shoutinga relative of mine is bff's with the pastors wife, so when church members go to their trusted pastor with their sensitive issues, he tells his wife and she then turns around and tells my relative when they get together for gossip sessions. how disappointing huh?


Asked by maya123 at 9:14 PM on Jan. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (9,544 Credits)
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Answers (9)
  • That is very sad. Those people think they are talking to him in confidence.

    Answer by arenad at 9:17 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Oh thats terrible. If I was bf with the pastors wife I would probably take my problems elsewhere. But I love my pastor and I dont know his wife,,lol

    Answer by beyondhopes at 9:16 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I was already leaning toward a marriage counselor anyway- but after what you said, I would give that a definite yes to the counselor. An objective 3rd party who doesnt know you is sometimes the best way to go. B/C no matter how things work out (or not) then you & your spouse wont have to feel uncomfortable when you go to church. *BTW I thought whatever was discussed w/ your paster, preacher, priest, etc. was supposed to be CONFIDENTIAL!

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:19 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I feel weird telling anyone I know about my problems. I wouldn't have a problem going to him for help, and I trust that he would keep it between us, but I still feel weird. I would rather tell someone I didn't have to see every week. I also think that it is helpful to have an unbiased decision.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 9:20 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • Does the pastor know his wife is doing that? Maybe he doesn't but it needs to ne pointed out to him what she's doing. If he knows and does nothing then he could be fired by the congregation.

    Answer by michelle121003 at 9:28 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I think you have to be careful with talking to a pastor about you marriage anyway. They will NEVER tell you that you should get divorced, even if you are being severly mistreated, they will tell you to keep working on it.

    Answer by JLS2388 at 9:28 PM on Jan. 6, 2011


    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 10:03 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • that is a real good point JLS2388 they tend to let religion cloud what is happening in reality like abuse and multiple affairs,kids outside the marriage etc.

    Comment by maya123 (original poster) at 9:32 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I would certainly prefer a professional who is bound by law to keep our issues confidential. From my experience with church (through behaviors of relatives) they will chew you up, especially if there is something juicy to discuss. I would never trust that what I discussed with my pastor would stay between us. Sad, but true.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 2:35 PM on Jan. 7, 2011