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what should i do about my dad?

ok so when i was 14 my dad tried to molest me, he was drunk but still. i didnt want to be alone with him for over two years after that at all, i felt uncomfortable. i didnt want to tell anybody at the time cuz i thought it was embarrassing, and then when i was 16 o told my step mom about it, and she talked to my dad and they pretty much made an excuse about why he did what he did and lied to me about it, i was very mad but i didnt say anything cuz i was a fraid of my parents they were not very nice to me growing up. im 24 yrs old now and i still havent told alot of people not even my husband knows about it. i have a grudge against my dad for it even to this day, especially now cuz we are not getting along i dont even talk to him, he still thinks he can treat me like crap and try to run my life, even when i have my own family. if i dont do what he wants he tries to argue with me and im tired of it. he doesnt even ever call to see how his grand son is doing, he only calls when he needs help, or needs a ride etc. and he is still an alcoholic. i dont know if i should report it or if its too late to do anything now about what he tried to do when i was 14. and im afraid that cuz now body knows about it that they will get mad at me thinking that i made it up cuz we arent getting along. im tired of his shit though he still thinks he can get away with harrassing me and leaving me ignorant messages on my phone. i just think that he got away with a lot of shit on the way he has always treated me. that its time i do something about it. but i dont know? maybe im doin it for revenge now but i dont give a shit, hes a prick. i just thought i should get an opinion on what i should do? or if i should do anything?

Answer Question
 
hello_kitty1

Asked by hello_kitty1 at 10:27 PM on Jan. 6, 2011 in Relationships

Level 7 (177 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • i think that u need to talk to the police and see what they say. i dont know the time limits on being molested. the whole drinking thing i understand that thats hard in it self because my dad had done that my whole life. I have a huge scar in between my eyebrows because of my dad. i almost died because of it. when i was 24 i screamed at him and told him that if he didnt change his attude and stop the drinking he would see my son or any other kids i have. well he changed the attutide but not the drinking so he doesnt see me or my kids. good luck stand strong. talk to ur hubby
    knagsmom

    Answer by knagsmom at 10:33 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I would end the relationship. You dont have to have communication with him at 24 years old. I would tell him the truth that because of what happened when you were 14 and the way he is treating you at 24 that you will no longer be a part of his life. Im not sure what the statue of limitations is or even if there is.
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 10:35 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • yeah i dont talk to him anymore adding a week ago he told me that im not his daughter anymore cuz he was pissed at me cuz i didnt want to talk to my biological mom thAt i havent seen for 20 yrs. even though he told me to stay away from her my whole life?
    hello_kitty1

    Comment by hello_kitty1 (original poster) at 10:37 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • I'm sorry you're going htrough this. My step-father molested me through my teen years. My mom sent me to a shrink when I ran away to live with my dad because of it. The shrink even told her what was happening in her home. She twisted it & told my real dad that I'd said he was molesting me. NOT the truth! I am now 51 yrs old. My mom, her husband & my 2 half-siblings, to this day, still deny anything ever happened. You need to be at peace with yourself on this. You have to be able to look in the mirror & know that it IS NOT your fault. He will be the one to answer for his sins on Judgement Day. Not you. Once you can do that, you have made a huge step in moving on with your life. You can't control what he does with his life. But you can control what you do with yours. You do not have to involve him in your family life. You have that choice. I have nothing to do with my mom, my step-father or my 2 half-sibs. will cont....
    specialwingz

    Answer by specialwingz at 10:38 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • If they want ot live in denial, that is their choice. My choice is to not let my family fall prey to their way of life. And my family is better of for it and so am I. Feel free to PM me anytime you need a little extra strength. I am more than happy to help someone get through this traumatic experience.
    specialwingz

    Answer by specialwingz at 10:40 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • thanks for the help
    hello_kitty1

    Comment by hello_kitty1 (original poster) at 10:42 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • What a horrible thing to have to live with. I would sever all ties with him. I'm sorry! BEST OF LUCK!!!

    kiansmom0423

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 10:45 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • You are better than he is and you have your family to take care of and to protect now. You need to put him in the past and move past him and everything bad that he represents. You weren't treated right, and you might need some counseling to help you sort all of that out, but the first step that everyone here seems to recognize and agree on is to get away from this person who is draining your energy and more or less using you. You can report him, but make a list of the pros and cons and what purpose that would serve you now. I think it would just drag you down further, and you should put your energy into your own family now.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 11:19 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • It might be too late and now you are an adult but I don't know if there's a statue of limitations on that kind of thing. That said, we certainly hope he didn't do this to other girls. If I were you, I sit his sober butt down, tell him he's a child molester, alcoholic and toxic person altogether and that you have no interest in hearing from him again. Good luck, you have every right to be mad but it's time for you to take control of who is and is NOT in your life.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:22 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

  • yeah i had a friend or my sisters friend reported him touching her when he was drunk, i wasnt there when it happened but he went to prison for it
    hello_kitty1

    Comment by hello_kitty1 (original poster) at 11:38 PM on Jan. 6, 2011

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