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Dh says it's not a big deal.... Whatever

My dh cheated on me a while back and since then we got back together to try to work things out. So far everything is good. We got a new house, he spends much more time with our daughter and myself. Just last night, I log on to my facebook and I see on my newsfeed I see that they are friends. I felt so betrayed ad hurt. I called my dh and asked him was he still speaking to this woman and he said "no she added me". He comes home and he shows me that she add him but what pissed me off was I told him to block her and so he did but he unblocked her! Then he has the nerve to tell me she's engaged now and he doesn't give a f*ck about her. Really? So I asked him why you accept in the first place and he said he doesn't hold grudges. To make a long story short He was crying and telling me how much he wanted to be with me and our daughter. He also almost committed suicide...

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:17 AM on Jan. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • He needs to cut her out. I don't care if she's engaged or what. If he wants to show you how important you are, he needs to cut off all ties. If it was some random ex, I'd feel otherwise, but this is the woman he cheated on you with! How can he feel that it's okay, even on FB?? I'd be furious. She may have added him, but he can always decline the request, and blocking is very smart. I'm sorry, but it sounds like you may have to keep checking up on him. He needs to chill out on the drama, and make you his priority. Why was he crying and about to commit suicide over this?? Drama.

    Answer by musicpisces at 12:21 AM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • He needs to block her, period, if he wants to act like he's going to kill himself that just shows that he's trying everything to get you to lay off, pretty sick. I'd make him go to counseling acting like that. Better yt, if my SO acted like that I'd make him do a 72 hour hold on him for a mental eval, thats freaking psycho, all over blocking someone on FB.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 12:26 AM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • He should have declined the request and blocked her completely if he really wants it to work with you. Hopefully he gets it now and understands how much this hurts you before he tottally destroys everything.

    Answer by shoot4thestars at 12:27 AM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I just talked to my SO about this question. My SO suggested maybe he still has feelings for the other woman if he's betraying you so much, crying over his offense, threatening to kill himself??? Maybe you should attend counseling, not meanly, but CLEARLY he needs help and you need to be there.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 12:28 AM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • She couldn't have added him without his permission. That's how it works. If she's engaged, do you think that her fiance has found out yet?


    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:28 AM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • He didn't try to kill himself over the whole blocking. I was upset and said he can go to hell and I wouldn't care what happens and that's when he try to do that. I feel bad about that but the other shit no. How can he say and do that? He sleeping now and I was wondering should I delete her ad block her now?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:31 AM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Yes you should!!!! And tomorrow explain calmly how you feel about the situation,if he says he's gonna add her again or if you find out later he added her leave his ass!! There is absolutely NO reason for him to still be talking to her.
    p.s.I mean start out calmly that will show him your serious

    Answer by klhoe at 12:41 AM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I would suggest marriage counseling.

    Answer by L0vingMy3Girls at 12:48 AM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I blocked her. So when he wakes up I will inform him and thanks again for the advice.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:03 AM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • My husband is sitting right here...we've been married 22 years. He says your husband should never have accepted the friend invitation whether she's engaged or not. That it was disrespectful to you and his family. He also said that your husband's comment about "not holding grudges" doesn't make any sense. Why would your husband be holding a grudge against her...he had the affair, the only person who really has a right to have a grudge is you.

    You shouldn't have had to be the one to block her....your husband should have done that, and I agree marriage counseling. I would insist on it.

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:24 AM on Jan. 7, 2011

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