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How would you feel? (little long)

My SO propsed with a ring that was bought 8 years before we started dating. We have been friends for 15 years. he was in a 4 year relationship when he bought it. He never proposed to her, she never even knew he had the ring.
They broke up 4 years later (nasty breakup...she was cheating). It's been 3 years since that relationship when we started dating.
I knew about the ring but he never told me that the one he gave me was the same one. I found the bag and recipt with the date on it. I asked him if it was the same one and he said yes. He bought it for the person he was going to spend the rest of his life with.
It is just a symbol but it was her face he was thinking of when he chose it. He says that the ring that will marry us (wedding band) should be the one that matters and it hasn't been picked out yet.
I still feel hurt that he regifted a ring but it doesn't change that I will marry him. And the ring is beautiful. And I think that it went to the right person like it was meant to...Thoughts?


Asked by Jademom07 at 11:13 AM on Jan. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 34 (64,323 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I think that I'd feel jipped and hurt as well. However, it does matter that the ring that will be used when you marry will be different. I think he used what he had to save money and it doesn't change how he feels for you. It's more of a promise that he will marry you and not soo much a symbol of how he sees you. Like you're a replacement to her for example. I think that he just used what he had to show you he was commited and wants to later show you even further with your own ring.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:19 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I would have the same feelings. Have you mentioned to him the idea of selling it and him picking you out a new one?

    Answer by aheuszel at 11:20 AM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I would not wear or accept that ring. I can't think of a bigger slap in the face than receiving somebody else's engagement ring. That wasn't originally meant for you, it was for her. Insist on a different ring.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 11:28 AM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Well I wouldn't be crazy about the idea either, but if it's not going to change your relationship and you still plan on marrying him then you are the one that needs to get over it.

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:19 AM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I think the fact that it was never on her finger would make me ok with it.... If it was then I would have had a problem with it.

    Answer by Charis76 at 11:38 AM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I would tell him to sell it and buy me my own!

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 12:04 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Probably I had been surprise and disappointed but since she never knew about the ring I would just got over it. It is just a ring, you are marring Mr. Right. Think about like the Cinderella story, he had the shoe and married the girl that fit it. So your fiance is marring the girl that fit the ring.

    Answer by bratgirln1 at 12:24 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • You may be able to trade it out for a new one at the jeweler's with no additional money,do that

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 12:37 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • 2nd hand rose,Just make sure nothing else is second handed!

    Answer by grismelda at 2:19 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Zakysmommy- I am pretty much over it after I talked to him about it. I understand why he did it and yes I'm still marrying him. I just wanted to know how someone else would feel about it.

    aheuszel-we talked about it...right now with all the stuff we are doing to the house, the money isn't there. Although, I don't know if I want to get a different one since this one already has some memories with it, like the sweetest proposal.

    Comment by Jademom07 (original poster) at 11:23 AM on Jan. 7, 2011