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training my husband

Sometimes I feel like I have another child.
My husband lacks self discipline and motivation. He's self employed, and at times is lazy and this affects our families income. and happiness.
Getting upset with him doesn't change anything, so I'm trying a new system. If he's going to act like a willful teenager, that is how he'll be treated.
He works out of the house while I am at work during the day.
He needs computer access, but I want to restrict his access to only work related activities. I'm not sure how to do this? Also, there are times I don't want him to have internet access.
I had an out of town trip, and wanted to remove cable from the tv so he wouldn't spend the weekend watching sports. I checked with the dish network, and there wasn't any way to disable the tv for the weekend.
Any suggestions on how I can restrict his access to tv, limit internet access and remove computer access at other times.
I'm not tech savy.
Also, any other ideas to help get him in line and keep him in line?

 

Thanks for all the responses.  

I love my hubby.

We have discussed this, and he expresses remorse and shame.  We talk every day and although he sometimes exhibits a poor attitude during the talks, he readily admitted his behavior was a problem and expressed desire to change.  He would volunteer promises which it appeared he made no effort at all to keep.  He seems to have a sincere to desire to change.  He regularly expresses regret and a desire to change his behavior.  

If the distractions were removed that interfere with his competing his goals, I thought this would help him.

 

 
booviemom

Asked by booviemom at 2:54 PM on Jan. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (26 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • I have had to do the same thing, I used the parental lock on the cable! I could not do anything about internet but turn it off and I did not want that. Being self employed does not mean you have it easy, it means a lot of hard work and long days. We have been self employed for years. Message me if you want to talk.
    Noosa

    Answer by Noosa at 9:15 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • wow. Have you tried discussing the issue with him as adults? He's NOT your child,he's your partner!
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:57 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • He's a grown man. Treat him like THAT not like he's a child.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:59 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • jaw dropWow! How can you treat YOUR HUSBAND, someone who is suppose to be your partner like that?!? I would talk to him about the situation, like the adults you are suppose to be. To me, you are acting more childish than he is.

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 3:00 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Omg. I couldn't imagine taking things away from my husband. If he doesn't understnad that his income is important then there is a deeper issue there. You think taking tv away is going to make him do what u want him to do?? My husband would pretty much tell me to f myseld!
    randibosin

    Answer by randibosin at 3:04 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I think marriage counseling is a good call... he may need to be more ambitious and responsible but you NEED to stop being such a control freak!!

    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 3:07 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Actually, I think your plan will only serve to make things worse. Perhaps some marriage counseling for a few weeks could help you communicate your needs more effectively and help him understand and be more willing to change a few things.
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 2:56 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • lol You put this in adult children category. Don't restrict his needs but on the flip side, make him respect your needs. Your need to have a willing partner. This is about getting ahead and it takes alot of work from both of you. ARTICULATE PRECISELY what you need (This worked great for me.) First acknowledge him by saying something like " I know you like this website but I would like XXXX right now."Body language: look directly at him. Do not nag (been there mama) If he is being selfish, just simply say it. If he is not listening, just say it. If he is not respecting your wishes, then say it. HTH! I just started doing this 2 years ago and wow what a change in me.
    2tinyhineys

    Answer by 2tinyhineys at 3:08 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • You are married to a grown adult. He is your partner, not your child. If his behavior is really that bad and you can't take it anymore then leave. seriously, do you think your husband is going to put up with that crap and those assanine rules just because WIFEY said so? You are the one that needs to grow up.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 3:10 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • It sounds like you may have some control issues. While I can relate to feeling like my husband is acting immature at times, I would never treat him like that. You should sit down and have a conversation about it with him if it's getting to you this badly. Try having a conversation where you actually discuss the matter (without yelling).
    Kword

    Answer by Kword at 3:13 PM on Jan. 7, 2011