Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Is it wrong not be dependent your husband?

Another discussion I had today...

I love my husband, I am glad he is in my life and don't want to be without him. But I don't need him. I would be sad but I would be able to function in pretty much the same way I do now. Financially and emotionally it would take work, but I would be fine.

My friend said that if a husband does not feel needed they do not feel like men. I so don't agree b/c I think my husband would go nuts if I was needy. She has always said that my ambition takes something away from my husband, but if it does, he doesn't mind.

(I hope this makes sense)

 
Bubbie0809

Asked by Bubbie0809 at 3:38 PM on Jan. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 31 (47,643 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I did just fine without my DH before I met him. I'd do just fine without him again. Do I want to be without him in my life? Of course not, but I don't NEED him. I have a full time job and could provide for myself and my daughter just fine.
    August07Mom

    Answer by August07Mom at 3:42 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • My husband loves me for my independence, and he tells me so all the time. However, I make it a point not to make him feel like I couldn't care less if he was around or not. It's possible to retain your independence without disrespecting the other party. :)
    JessiFaye

    Answer by JessiFaye at 3:53 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Its great that you're not. If something happens to him,knock on wood,you'll be in a better place financially than if you were dependent
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:40 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I tell my husband all the time that he's just nice to have around, and he knows it's true. He's been in the military the entire time we've been married and he knows I can carry on without him at all with our 5 kids with no issues at all. He says it makes him feel better about our relationship knowing that while yes there are days that I wish he could just stay home or be around for a trip to the doctor's office, that no I'm not going to completely fall apart if he's gone for anywhere from a few days to a year or two at a time.
    BlueCollarMama

    Answer by BlueCollarMama at 3:46 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • i agree TOTALY! more women should be like that! women make the mistake of being completely dependant on their husbands. well what happens if you completely depend on him for everything and someday you get a divorce or God forbid something bad happens. they are going to be lost and have no clue what to do. my mom taught me to be independent and i am. you should never be completely dependant on someone even if it is your husband. dont get me wrong i love him and i want him and would never want to loose him but i dont NEED him!

    mommy2be0611

    Answer by mommy2be0611 at 4:01 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • yeah that is good when you can depend on yourself & dont have to worry about any man taking care of you but some man are ok with females taking care of themselfs & some men are not
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 5:19 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • maybe SOME men need a woman to be dependent on him but certainly not them all!
    pookipoo

    Answer by pookipoo at 3:40 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I don't think it's wrong not to "need" him. The fact is that you "want" him. Being able to survive without him is certainly no sin.
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 3:42 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I agree with you. I'm bringing my daughters up to know that they must be able to support themselves and any children they have, whether or not they have a man in their lives. But I've always made sure that my husband knew that I needed him, just not solely to "bring home the bacon." I also agree that men need to feel needed so if they're not going to be the sole financial support, then make sure he knows that you depend on him for other things, like love and emotional support and shoveling the driveway and changing the oil in the car :)
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 3:43 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • It's good to BE independent...People make the mistake of completely depending on their husbands and then if God forbid something happens, they have nothing to fall back on. We lost my dad when I was 5, and thankfully my mom was in nursing school and able to raise my sister and I on her own. It's NICE to have somebody as a partner, but to be fully dependent on that person is not healthy.
    calliesmommie

    Answer by calliesmommie at 3:43 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN