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Custody and Visitation ?

My husbands friend is having issues seeing his daughter(she's 8).

His ex and he were never "officially" married and she up and walked out and now is making it hell for him to see her, etc.

There is no court order for custody nor visitation.

We are working on getting him to court to get everything written out but I was curious what the "rules" are for visiting and such when there is no written/court ordered agreement.


Asked by Amaranth361 at 3:43 PM on Jan. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 22 (13,616 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • there are no "rules" unless it is a court order. That is why no matter what you should always have a court order. Otherwise, both parents can do whatever they want an the law can not step in because they are not breaking any law or court order. It goes both ways, not that I would suggest this, but he could go to her school and take her out and the mother can't do anything because he is her father and has that right and there is no court order.Like I said, I wouldn't suggest he do that, he just needs to be patient because it is obvious that mom is going to try to make it difficult for him to have visitation when it does go to court. So, I would suggest that he on a weekly basis call mom and say he would like to have her and what days will work for her, and document all calls and the conversations then he has that when he goes to court to prove that he isn't all of a sudden trying to see her. Good luck

    Answer by sue118 at 3:54 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Since there is nothing like that already in place,there is nothing he can do until court. Sorry!

    Answer by dancer at 3:45 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • He needs an attorney to have it written up. He also needs to be on the birth certificate. An attorney will have all the right answers. If he doesn't have the money for one, then he's just going to have to deal with what she lets him have if nothings in writing.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 3:46 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • if there is nothing in writing, then there are no rules...that's exactly why even if people are on "good terms", it's still good to get it in writing...b/c it doesn't last forever.

    Answer by calliesmommie at 3:46 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Thanks ladies. Thats kinda what I thought but my hubby felt otherwise.

    Ya he lost his job and while ago and has been unable to find anything so money is definately an issue.

    Like I said, we are working on helping him get this straightened out cuz he's a great father and deserves to see her.

    Comment by Amaranth361 (original poster) at 3:51 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I dont think there are any but moms usually rule because well the kids rule with her. If he is reasonable and a good guy nhave him keep a written log of dates he asked for visitation and what herresponce was. Also make sure he gives her plenty of notice so she really has no excuse. An attorney once told me written logs can really help in visitation cases.

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 4:01 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Ya...thankfully he has a log that he keeps of everything the ex does or says concerning his daughter and visiting her,etc.

    My DH thinks if you take the police with you then she has to let him see the daughter cuz there is no written anything therefore he has a right cuz he's the dad.

    I didnt think that would make a difference as she is the mom and anything can go til a written order is in place.

    Comment by Amaranth361 (original poster) at 4:13 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • There is nothing that anyone can do until their is a court order in place. Good luck.

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 4:18 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • It's great that he is keeping a record of what's going on - the judge will take into consideration any negative remarks she makes to her daughter about her father - unfortunately his ex does not have to let him see his child until there is a court order or an agreement between each other's lawyers (my friend and her ex haven't gone to court yet but has a written visitation agreement with their lawyers). It's actually better for him that she is keeping the child away from him because it will make her look bad when they finally get in front of a judge. Most states that I know of will also give the child an attorney, someone to determine what's best for the child.

    Answer by anon1986East at 6:21 PM on Jan. 7, 2011