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When does it become a major concern?

DH and I are leaving within the hour to go pick up my stepdaughter from her biological mother....If you have followed any of my posts you will know that BM is not a fit parent, is very violent (assaulted my husband had a no contact order put in place *it is lifted now* and she had to take a assaultive behavior class) and there are many concerns as to if my stepdaughter is even safe there (unexplainable bruises and burns on a 3 yr old) When she assaulted DH in front of DD we pressed charges, the no contact order was put into play and our exchanges went from being held at a gas station to being held at the sheriff's department by recommendation of the police. Now that the no contact order has been lifted BM is able to bring DD herself to the drop offs but the drop offs are still to be held at the sheriff's station as so that we are not alone with her in an unsafe atmosphere such as a gas station. The last two times we have met to drop her off to BM or pick her up from BM, BM has followed us to the same gas station that we go to afterwards to fill up and take a potty break as our home is 2 hrs from the sheriff's station.

When does it become a concern that she is now following us to the same gas station (as there are MANY others on this particular stretch of road) and is my fear that she will act out AGAIN legit? What would you mama's do if you were in this situation? P.S. DD is ALWAYS there either with BM or with DH and I so she is CONSTANTLY put in the middle of her mother's violence.

Answer Question
 
NessGuinness

Asked by NessGuinness at 5:41 PM on Jan. 7, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 10 (414 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Why hasn't she been reported to child protective services. I would think your husband would want his little girl out of there if she's the nut as you've described in here. I would do something for sure..........

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 5:46 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Try going somewhere else to get gas. Get a video camera and tape the cars behind you. If she keeps following you, call the police. She does not sound like a stable person. It is best for you to be safe and avoid her as much as possible.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 5:47 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Yeah, and call Child Protective Services to report injuries to the child. You might also ask the sheriff to take notice of these things when you pick her up there.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 5:48 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • zbee - we have called DHS numerous times, we want her out of there as soon as possible but it is actually a long and tedious process to take a little girl out of her biological mother's care even if the mother is unfit. DHS has told us to continue to document any and all injuries, show them to our attorney and local police, keep them informed, etc. We believe personally that because DHS would have to do an investigation in three different counties they are not as willing to do it. We live in one county, we meet in another county two hours away from here and her BM lives in another county 2 hrs from where we meet so 4 hrs away from us. It has been very frustrating and heart breaking but we will not give up.
    NessGuinness

    Comment by NessGuinness (original poster) at 5:50 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • i would do as someone above said and video tape the cars behind u and keep notes on everything
    knagsmom

    Answer by knagsmom at 5:57 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • File a report. Tell the person at the desk when you arrive to pick up the little girl. Get that person's direct line. If you aree followed, call immediately and file a report.

    You need these reports to get full custody.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 6:28 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • zbee - we have called DHS numerous times, we want her out of there as soon as possible but it is actually a long and tedious process to take a little girl out of her biological mother's care even if the mother is unfit. DHS has told us to continue to document any and all injuries, show them to our attorney and local police, keep them informed, etc. We believe personally that because DH

    That's a shame hon, that poor little girl is going through hell and their sitting back doing nothing, I hope you take pics of bruises and marks on her. I'm so sorry to hear this. Good luck to you and hubby and especially that sweet little girl....

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 7:05 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I'd suggest gassing up prior to pick up, and asking sheriff if potty break can be held at the sheriff office before heading home.
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 11:08 AM on Jan. 8, 2011

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