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What do you do when you find your husband writing love letters to someone else?

Yesterday I found messages that my husband sent to a woman that he was seeing when we split up last year and it had the wording of "Love you have a good day" and she replied, when I asked him about it he blew up, then told me he ment to send it to me, then he said I make him miserable and to pack my shit and leave, then last night as I was upset told me I was over reacting...I am ready to leave him can't deal with this anymore, has anyone been in a similiar situation?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:40 AM on Jun. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I would leave him - at least temporarily - to get some perspective and find out what his deal is. He doesn't seem committed to you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I would leave him too because it seems as if he is over-reacting more than you are.... I wish you good luck..

    Answer by michaelsmom2005 at 9:47 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I think it sounds like you guys have some things to work out. The internet was posing a problem in our home at first because when my hubby and I moved in together at first (when we were only dating) I was still talking to friends I graduated with and I lived in a small town so all of us that were close told eachother Love ya..or however we would say it. He was over my shoulder reading an email to a friend and saw that and flipped out, I had to explain to him. But, that doesnt sound like that is the situation here, I think that you are not over-reacting. He seems to still have feelings for this girl and is trying to cover something up that he thought you wouldnt see/find. I would leave, even if only on a temporary basis and see what happens. Good luch to you!

    Answer by ohara_b05 at 9:50 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • If he is beign that mean, then just leave him! You do not deserve that! You do not need a man to be happy!

    Answer by PalmBayHeather at 10:10 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I think he denies a bit too much to be innocent!!! I am sorry, but you do have a problem with him. What you do about it is up to you. If he is trying to divert attention away from this problem and blame you for over reacting.....classic method of... a great offense is a good defense. I would do even more snooping around. YOU also could Write her, and ask...What's UP??? But ultimately...I think you have yourself a lemon, sorry hon.

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 10:14 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • "Thou doth protest too much" How do you accidently send something to the wrong person if you don't have the persons contact information anymore (which he shouldn't). Confronting the other person typically doesn't make a difference and you are only putting more stress on you trying to figure out how he feels. Working things out takes 2 and if he isn't interested in doing it too then you need to move on.

    Answer by WatchGirl29 at 11:25 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • He's playing games with your head, I would leave. He wants you to leave, he sure doesn't appreciate or much less respect you. Maybe later on if he smartens up you can or may get back together, but really you should leave. Don't be a door mat.

    Answer by Ifiwereabook at 12:51 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Have you tried counseling? If you want to save this relationship - that should be the next step. I wouldnt up and leave until I tried everything I could first. But whats happening is not fair to you.

    Answer by Sophiasmom119 at 1:02 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • i can answer this from experience. obviously he does not care if yours/his marriage works or, there is no sense in trying to hold on to something that is obviously no longer there. you will only make your life misserable. a marriage is suppose to be 50 50, sand if it is any other way, it just won't work. honestly, how can he focus on you guys relationship if he has side-tracking alterations (meaning the other female he obviously hasn't let go of)you don't accidentally send that to the "other" woman. come on give me a break. sounds like a lame excuse to me. he is like most men and wants his cake and eat it too. well, i learned something a long time ago and that is, a man can only do what you let him do. so, you have to decide if you are worth/deserve more than that, and i hope the answer you come up with will be,"YES" hope i have been of some help. God Bless and hope all goes well for you.

    Answer by juzcreepin at 12:01 AM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • I would have offered to do spell check for him and told him I'd be glad to help him learn how to send it to the right woman!

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:26 PM on Jul. 26, 2008

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