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I have a question for women that have broken up or divorced the father of their child...

How did you break the news you were leaving? I am going for custody but in no way want to keep him from his son... how do I tell him this in a way that he won't flip out?

Answer Question

Asked by June_Mama09 at 6:42 PM on Jan. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 26 (26,054 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • He's probably going to flip out no matter what if he's not expecting it. I just told my husband I didn't feel like he cared enough about us, that we weren't his main priority. And that I wanted full custody but that he could have her whenever he needed her. And that he would always be her dad. He was very upset but it was not a nasty divorce. Good luck to you.

    Answer by genagina at 6:43 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I didn't tell him. I just filed...but he already knew it was coming so he wasn't mad.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:45 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I think if you sit down and be honest it is a good way to tell him. But it is really depends on how he will react. You really didn't say anything about your relationship with your SEH (Soon Ex Husband). But it is always the easiest way to be honest (for the long run). You can write a letter if you don't want to talk about it face to face. And the letter is good to have for the future if something go bad in front of the court... I am sorry you are in this situation. Hugs.

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 6:46 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • it's been along time coming... I'm just finally getting the nerve to do it... Even though he's put me through so much I still don't want to hurt him...
    so should I be up front and tell him or just wait until he gets the papers? We are still living together so it makes it tough

    Comment by June_Mama09 (original poster) at 6:47 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I told him on the phone, seeing as I'd caught him cheating red-handed and had the evidence of it in their own handwriting. After the things that he'd said about me behind my back I felt that there was no longer any trust or love in our marriage and that I wanted out, with the kids. Period.

    What else can you say to a man that tells his girlfriend he never loved you and only married you because it was better than getting old alone? Especially when he added that he was leaving you for her and wasn't going to fight for the kids.

    You want out? Fine, you're out.

    Answer by geminilove at 6:50 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Oh and btw please don't judge but it's because of DV... but I haven't been working so I had no money but now I got a job and can go!!

    Comment by June_Mama09 (original poster) at 6:51 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I'm sorry gemini...
    Oh and we aren't married

    Comment by June_Mama09 (original poster) at 6:54 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I think no matter how you tell him he'll still be upset. My ex was even though I've told him over and over again that I wouldn't keep my son from him as long he kept his act together (which sadly he hasn't). You're just going to have to tell him straight out that you're going for custody but that it doesn't mean your keeping your son from him. It won't be easy but you're gonna have to be strong. Remember this is your son too, and you're doing what you believe is best for him. Good luck and take care.

    Answer by myree85 at 8:48 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I'm sorry... I'm in the same boat as you!

    Answer by Sarahe786 at 10:03 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

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