Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

HOW CAN MY HUSBAND GET A DIFFERENT PROBATION OFFICER...

YEAH I KNOW PO'S ARE SUPPOSE TO BE HARD AND STRICT BUT SHE OVER DOES IT. SHE ALWAYS THREATENS MY HUSBAND TO REVOKE HIS PROBATION. HE TOLD HER HE WAS LOOKING FOR JOB( AND HE ACTUALLY WAS ) AND HE SAID THAT WHEN HE WASNT DOING THAT HE WAS WATCHING OUR SON SINCE I WORKED. SHE TOLD HIM THAT HE BETTER LOOK HARDER AND QUIT WORRYING ABOUT HIS SON BECAUSE SHE CAN SEND HIM TO PRISON AND THEIR HE WOULDNT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHO WAS GOING TO WATCH OUR SON. HE ASKED HER IF HER JOB WAS TO HELP FELONS STRAIGHTEN UP OR TO TRY TO MAKE THEM MESS UP SO SHE COULD SEND THEM TO PRISON AND SHE REPLIED MY JOB IS WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE DOING THAT DAY WITH THAT FELON. NOW TELL ME SHE ISNT HORRIBLE.

Answer Question
 
JOHNNYSMOMMY23

Asked by JOHNNYSMOMMY23 at 6:45 PM on Jan. 7, 2011 in Relationships

Level 7 (179 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Wow! I would talk to her boss.
    Snewo

    Answer by Snewo at 6:50 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • No offense, I don't know what your DH did...and really don't care.

    But, one, a correctional officer is suppose to help a felon get on his feet. However, I think the first priority is to get himself on track then worry about others (including his family).
    Yes, she was out of line, but, he needs to get his life on track first, then he should worry about his family. Taking on to many responsibilities can make him a little stressed out and he can steer off track, and end up back in prison.
    Chloesmom1126

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 6:51 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • just see who is higher above that you can talk to. I don't think its easy to switch but if he keeps records of all he is doing document it all.
    hill2

    Answer by hill2 at 6:52 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I say you have to take what they dish out. It wont be forever and I know it is tough, ( my friend's brother went through this and I used to drive him for his tests), and I heard stories. He would just smile and be as nice as he could, did everything they told him to do and ended up getting off probation early.
    He said one way to end probation is learning you are not the one in control.
    idaspida

    Answer by idaspida at 6:52 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I've never had any experience with probation or that system but I'm sure she has a supervisor or somebody to whom your husband could make a complaint. Good luck.
    leah_rai

    Answer by leah_rai at 6:53 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Can you record what she says and go to her above officer (I don't know what does it called)? Because I don't think so it is a good way. But probably she has many bad experience with people on probation. But still it is just not an appropriate way. Can you get a letter from somewhere that he (HB) actually looks after the child? I mean like a Stay at home dad? If you can get a letter from Child Support that you work and he looks after your child than I am not sure if she can say that he can't be a house-husband... I think you should ask a lawyer about this. But if I would be in the same situation and my SO couldn't find a job and the police would threatened him I would go for the Stay-At-Home dad position.
    Off-topic: do you know if you write everything with a capital it means shouting at everyone in the cyber world? It is not really good and nice to read. If you write with normal letters we would still answer it:)
    adriennfaklya

    Answer by adriennfaklya at 6:55 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • how are they supposed to get a job if they had a criminal record or did any time in prision? i think she is being harsh but i have never delt with anyone in prision
    mommam58122

    Answer by mommam58122 at 6:58 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • Question: Is part of his probation to get a job and stay employed? If that be the case, no matter what CO you get...it will not change.

    All the court will see is...he was in prison...you work. If you were working when he was in prison, your child obviously had some sort of child care arrangements and were making it then. No excuse now.

    Not to be mean, but I know how twisted courts are...and sadly, that's all that will matter.
    Chloesmom1126

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 6:59 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I would say go and see if he can request a new one but not really sure if its something they would do. I would guess it depends on the way he was talking to her as well him telling her what her job prob struck a nerve with her. Honestly with someone that has that much control over his life he should prob stick with respect regardless of his feelings about her. Unfair but its life egging her on will not have a good outcome.

    On a side note you do know that posting in all CAPS is considered yelling right? I only ask cause I notice the last few of your posts were in caps but you might get more answers if you turn it off.
    Charis76

    Answer by Charis76 at 7:00 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

  • I understand that this is your husband and you know him. But, this is his PO and she knows a lot of criminals who SAY they are looking for a job, but aren't. While some feel that you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, when it comes to the criminal justice system, that isn't always the case. I certainly hope that the comment he made to her was not as sarcastic as it could have been. He needs to show her he can be respectful. To you, it's personal. To her, it's not.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 7:14 PM on Jan. 7, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN