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My son's dad ended it with me because he found someone else. How can I keep a civil relationship with him for our son when I still have feelings for him?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on Nov. 11, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • You choose to be civil. Just like you would choose to say nasty things. Only You controll what goes through your head, what comes out of your mouth, and your own actions. Do it for your Son. Do the right thing. Be the bigger, or better person.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 10:52 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • My ex said so many innappropriate things to our daughter after I left. I think scarring her and our relationship just because my ex was furious I left and then became angry because I fell in love with someone else. It hurt no one but our daughter. Don't do that to your son no matter how angry you are. Put your son's emotional well-being first.
    kathyartist2007

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 10:58 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • thats tough... sorry to hear that. but i think whatever you decide to do, you should think of what is best for your son. dont let the drama with your ex affect your son, its not his fault things didnt work out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • That sucks. But you have to be civil. Keep conversation with him to a minimum. Don't even talk to him unless you absolutely have to. Time will heal the pain. Eventually you will find someone that will love you for you. Look forward to meeting that guy!
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 11:13 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • I do feel that I need to do is what's best for my son. Some of the reason I was trying to make it work with him and not only because I cared for him. My thing is he cheated on me twice and I still gave him the benefit of the doubt and he went and did it again. Shame on me. Now that he has someone else, it's like he wants to be a Dad at his convience. Only wants me to bring and see him when it works for him when he isn't out partying with his buddies or with his new girlfriend. I know why do I still care right? But I guess now my question is, Is it really better for my son if his Dad treats it like that and only wants to be a Dad at his convience?
    bkrosco85

    Answer by bkrosco85 at 11:13 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • Your feelings for him will eventually fade- in time.
    I think you're doing the right thing about wanting to stay cival.
    BrendaMomOf3

    Answer by BrendaMomOf3 at 11:46 PM on Nov. 11, 2008

  • That's very hard to hear hon...I am very sympathetic to your pain....I hope that you can remain civil for the love of your son, But you know what he did was totally wrong...and he should be ashamed..and id get even! I know its bad to say...and i know you still have feelings for him, But i would take him for all the child support i could, And ..Maybe down the line,...He will want you back and it will be to late you will be set in your ways...and you will say HECK..you didn't want me then...Why would i take you NOW!? and i pray that day comes quickly for you,..because you deserve closure!

    LexsiesMommy

    Answer by LexsiesMommy at 12:01 AM on Nov. 12, 2008

  • I went through the same thing and it's difficult. I bite my tongue and hold it back. It's been two years, almost, and it's still hard. I no longer love him as a husband and I certainly don't want to be with him but it still gets under my skin to see him with her. Especially since I don't like the way she treats my kids or my ex. I think she treats him like crap and he knows I'm right but won't stand up for himself. You have to force yourself to be civil for the sake of your son and I can't count how many times I've actually made my mouth bleed from physically biting the inside of my mouth to keep myself from screaming or fighting with him. Especially if your ex is as arrogant and egotistical as mine is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Nov. 12, 2008

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